good for a chuckle. something we need these days....
There is no business like Big Pharma. Their profits are obscene, customer service is non-existent and abuse of the system is rampant. Here are ten things you might notice if Big Pharma were given the reins of Big Auto.
1. Your average car would cost $4.5 million, representing a 30,000% markup over cost, which is typical for prescription drugs. Automakers would justify this price by saying they needed the money to fund research and development, but in reality, most of their research would be funded by taxpayer dollars through government grants and university research centers.
2. Automakers would lobby to outlaw or regulate alternative forms of transportation such as bicycles and airplanes, forcing us to rely exclusively on cars. Explanation: the drug industry works hard to discredit alternative medicine, herbs and nutritional supplements, hoping to force consumers to rely on drugs alone.
3. Cars with no safety systems (no seatbelts, no airbags, no crumple zones) would be declared perfectly safe by federal regulators. Car companies, rather than address this lack of safety features, would focus on publicizing the dangers of riding bicycles. Explanation: the FDA currently approves deadly drugs as “safe.” Meanwhile, drug companies ignore the dangers of their own drugs and, instead, try to get people to believe that herbs or vitamins are dangerous.
4. The manufacturers of those cars with no safety systems would grow tired of being sued by customers who were injured in their cars, and they would lobby to pass “legal reform” that would immunize all car companies against class action lawsuits. Explanation: drug companies are currently trying to get Government to pass laws that would make it illegal for consumers to sue for damages. This would shield them from the financial consequences of their dangerous products that kill thousands each year.
5. Car crash dummy tests that produced fatalities and other disturbing data would be censored by the auto industry, never to see the light of day. Any safety scientist who produced such results would be blackballed from ever conducting crash tests again. Explanation: drug companies routinely bury clinical study results that show the dangers of their drugs. They specifically design studies in a way that exaggerates benefits and minimizes risks. Researchers who don’t “play ball” and help distort these drug trial results are blackballed and will never find work in the industry again.
6. Car dealers would be visited by hoards of automobile sales reps promising bribes, first-class vacations, free food and free cars as long as those car dealers would push the right products onto consumers. Explanation: drug companies spend billions each year on handouts to physicians, including outright bribes, fully-paid vacations to exotic resorts (disguised as “Continuing Medical Education” programs), free drug samples, and a never-ending supply of free lunches and other food items.
7. Driver’s education programs would be cancelled nationwide. Instead of teaching people how to avoid accidents or repair damaged cars, automakers would encourage people to keep buying new cars. Explanation: organized medicine doesn’t teach healthy safety or disease prevention. Instead, the entire system is designed around waiting for people to get sick, then treating them with expensive drugs, surgeries and other medical procedures. The system actually encourages chronic illness by neglecting to teach prevention.
8. Companies would make up new reasons why you need more automobiles, hoping to convince you to buy a dozen or more. They might say you need one car to make you feel happy, another for basic transportation, a third to match the color of your house, and so on. Explanation: drug companies frequently invent new, fictitious diseases, and then try to sell you drugs to treat those made-up afflictions. Examples include ADHD, FSD (female sexual dysfunction), General Anxiety Disorder, and other made-up diseases that have no purpose other than selling drugs. Essentially, Big Pharma wants to define everyone as diseased in some way, and then convince people they need a lifetime of prescription drugs to “manage” those diseases. From the moment you’re born, the drug companies say, you’re already diseased.
9. Driving certain cars would have unexpected side effects. Driving one car, for example, would make you extremely aggressive and violent… perhaps even suicidal. Driving another car might make all your muscles hurt. And a third car might make you feel an instant loss of sexual drive. Explanation: prescription drugs always have unintended side effects. Antidepressant drugs cause violent behavior and suicides. Statin drugs can cause severe muscle pain (rhabdomyolysis) and loss of cognitive function. They also block the production of cholesterol, the precursor to sex hormones.
… and finally …
10. Cars would be sold to you with high-priced features like a sunroof, air conditioning, 6-CD changer, navigation system and other items, but upon delivery, you would find none of the features you paid for. The car would be completely different from the one you thought you bought. Explanation: drugs are sold to patients with hyped-up promises of multiple health benefits. But once people start taking the drugs, they find the benefits were exaggerated. In other words, the drug they end up taking is nothing like the drug they thought they purchased — the drug advertised with all the features and benefits on TV.
STAY REAL MY FRIENDS
dx 1989, spms