The world-famed Dr. Nero Ologist is excited at last about, of all things, wheelchairs.
"I have seen the light," he says, and he seems to be embracing the concept. "If persons have a lot of money, mobility can be enhanced using the new flat wheels."
The theory seems to be that if the world is flat enough, flat wheels can be used with wheelchairs. Especially, as he explains, when used together with the old stand-by, crutches. "The strongest patients can actually achieve enhanced mobility, using both. They have to be strong enough to lift the chair with their crutches. Contrary to the old round-wheeled ones, these are perfectly safe, if used with a seat-belt."
However, he cautions against the use of crutches with off-road chairs. "Their wheels may look flat, but the idea is to emulate round," he argues. "Most patients will hurt themselves, and may even be crushed, not in spirit, but by falling under the chairs. The patient might think crutches will help, but the tracked chairs are inherently not road-worthy."
He also believes it will be years before the combination is ready for prime-time. "After a few more long range placebo-controlled blinded random studies, these devices will be a boon to mobility, both mouse and human." he perceives. "But not before." Meanwhile the chair-crutch combination is being test-driven by mice with crutches, in a secret location on the Utah salt flats. "Currently, the problem is, they cannot reach the ground with their crutches," the world famed expert concedes.
"Try - Just A Little Bit Harder" - Janis Joplin
CCSVI procedure Albany Aug 2010
'MS' is over - if you want it
Patients sans/without patience