blossom wrote:i've experienced every emotion in the books. still am. i used to say my prayers once a day but since this mess started i pray all day long. unfortunatly i am very guilty of praying in one breath and curseing in the other at times. but, these curse words are all man made although some can get offended i make sure i don't take the lords name in vain. i'm not too worried about what others think as long as in my heart i'm doing unto others as i want them to do unto me.
Yes dear blossom, in our mind we want to do what's good, but unfortunately this flesh only does the opposite. It's humanly...I know what i do is wrong but i still do it anyway, i can't help it, but afterwards i realize my mistakes n ask God for His forgiveness... Before, i asked forgiveness from everyone i had done wrongly even to God and wishing a healing miracle to happen... but now i ask in my prayers the strength in order to finish every activities in that day, His mercy for me, and His will n not mine, that'll be done in my life. I hold on to His promises to keep me going.
There's a saying : We don't know how strong we are, until being strong is the only choice we have.
Well, i had pleaded to God so i can bail out of this disease. I said i'm not a strong person, i can't take this anymore, all the humilities this illness brings into my life. When the pride of being a very independent person was taken away, i pleaded to God, please take me home with U, i don't want to live like this anymore, i don't want to be a burden for my family... O Lord please ended my sufferings, i won't ask for anything else, just let me die instead. But He said, He will not bring me into temptation or trial beyond my strength or my power to endure it and He promises to provide me a way out so i may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.
And now, i'm still going through, but not by my own power. I pray so my life could be a blessing for others and i'm not living for my ownself anymore. I try to help myself by helping others who have the same problem like me, for now i know how is it like to be in their shoes.
So, don't forget to count our blessings everyday, but also it will be even better if we can be a blessing for others too.
PS: Don't keep bitterness in our hearts, let it go, forgive n forget n let's move on with our lives.
We had been forgiven, so let's forgive others too.