I need to get all my ducks in a row and all the eggs in a basket (so to speak) before I do the surgery.
The possibility of complications from shoulder nerves getting pinched and bleeding from a blood thinner scares the hell out of me. Why? Because I rely on both arms and shoulders to do anything because my legs are completely unusable. I can barely stand up for 30 seconds once a day while holding onto something. Forget walking. I am unable to stand, so walking does not happen. If I did not have both arms to use as I do now, there is absolutely no way I could even move down the bed to slide onto the commode. Peeing in a diaper in bed doesn't sound like fun to me. I can just see the skin breakdown now.
Bleeding from a blood thinner scares me because I already bruise easily and when I fall I hit something--usually my head, arms or legs or all. Just the other day I smacked myself in the head with a 6 pound laptop and got a goose egg from that and I was in bed already. The last time I fell my legs got mangled. I couldn't even make it to my GP appointment. I couldn't even get in the electric wheelchair, so forget about getting into the tiny car.
So I still am going to get the scans when I get contacted to do so--providing I can get into the electric wheelchair. After that, well...I'm not so sure. If Dr. Dake can't fix the circulation problem in my legs, the whole thing is pointless to me, and I'd rather give up my spot to someone who has more hope than I do. It just makes no sense to me to get the procedure and return home with legs that will never stop having the problems they have now. The only thing I'd see out of it is that I might feel better, but am hindered by legs with a problem. I'm not talking about the inability to walk, I'm talking about the other problems that I have with them. Sure, I might feel great and then the legs drag me down and I'm where I was in the first place. I feel really good occasionally as I am now. us.
It is true...I still am angry at Andrew aka Hoodyup for even suggesting this to me. He will never understand until he is me. No one will. Even Dr. Dake says I probably won't get any better, but I might not get any worse. With odds like that I'd rather stay the way I am and be left alone.
I have "never, ever; no matter what, lose your sense of humor" in my signature, but I feel I am losing it all the way around. When I first joined this forum in Sept. '09, I said I wasn't here to whine. I feel like I'm whining. Sorry about that.
It really boils down to if there are bad side effects to anything or if anything bad can happen, I'm usually the fist one that gets the bad. That's just from prior experience.
So I'm wondering if this procedure would even be worth it to me. Yes, I'm the one that makes the ultimate decision on it, but if you would, imagine you are me and ask yourself the same question. I'd like to know.