judipom wrote: I've been in a significant flare-up since Thanksgiving (which is when I found out about CCSVI).
Judi - that is odd. I noticed too, since learning about CCSVI, that I have felt worse than usual. I can laugh, when things ain't funny, and all, but I have a sense that I've slipped since learning that the end of this danged nightmare may well be nigh.
I always thought that my quirky protocols have helped, and that my unceasing optimism did likewise, but the last 6 months or so, I have started to realize that it is looking like a long, slow loss of function, and have begun to resign myself to that reality. That took me 16 years.
Kubler-Ross had the 5 stages of grief down, but I realized that she did not realize the one that comes before acceptance, and that is acknowledgment
. For me, the denial lasted about a week. The anger lasted about 1 month. Bargaining took about 2 minutes. Depression probably started soon after, but I accomplished so many of the things I had always wanted to do, after diagnosis, that it probably took about 15 years to get really bummed out. Then came the stage that Kubler-Ross never realized - acknowledgment
. Oh, you didn't know? Yes, I have had MS since 19xx. Oh, yes, it started out with me going blind overnight., Oh yes, it was... fricking terrifying. No. I'm actually not feeling so good right now. No, it's not you, but I just can't think right now, and need to be left alone right now
. Oddly, since learning of CCSVI (by watching the W5 piece, and reading some here), my wife and a few friends finally understand. I feel that I can accept that I have MS, and actually have it. That's why I am a recluse. That is why I am poor. That is why I am 30 pounds underweight. That is why I never come to your parties, and on it goes.
It feels good to accept, knowing that it will soon be over.
sorry if I am way OT.
My name is not really Johnson. MSed up since 1993