For so long I have thought, is it worth having dreams that you know will never happen? Is an unrealistic dream better than dreamless sleep? But truthfully it really is just painful after so so so long and everything that a person can lose to keep on pretending that anything will ever be any different. We all know how this stuff actually ends. So when a person is alone and starved for touch and friendship and hope and trust and just would have really loved to share life, beautiful life, with a true partner, but obviously that's not going to happen, especially as things just get worse and worse, well, what can i say. ms has taken my body, my career, my community, my family, my dreams. at this point i don't know why i am even bothering to write this except maybe it feels good not to have to pretend for a few minutes. i feel so trapped. i have nowhere left to go. anyway i've already written what i really had to say elsewhere.
</div><div>Every moment of light and dark is a miracle. -- Walt Whitman</div><div>