I liberated myself from that stuff last year. I know exactly what you mean about the stress of having to overdo it, fully knowing that you are going to pay for it physically. When I was at X-mas at the in-laws last year I told them all (because they were all asking me about "my health") that I only do one thing per day from now on. No more two thanksgiving days, no more both grandparents on X-mas day, none of it.
Nobody took offense at all and I really do feel much better about it now that I vocalized what I had been thinking for a few years. I told them "I'm a human being, not a human doing" and that got a few laughs. I think it's tough on people with good endurance, let alone us.