I would love group therapy! That would be right up my alley. I am what you call "emotionally constipated" (love that term)
I hold it all in because I don't want to upset the balance in my world. Of course you know I am just kidding myself because there is no control or balance in my life anymore. But, I don't want to upset those around me. I have been told in the past that I am "too good for my own good".
My oldest son left a suicide note when he was 14. Very sad time in my life. Thank God we had everyone looking for him and a friend, who I am forever indebted to, talked to him and we got him into the car and me and my Mom drove 2 hours with him kicking and screaming to the nearest psych hospital and had him admitted. At that time that was the hardest and most heart breaking thing I had ever done. He hated me for a long time. I did what I had to do, we went through many many many months of outpatient therapy and he even went back to the same hospital on his own when he was 18. I tried so hard to be a good mother and I never could get his wanting to die out of my head. What had I done to him that made him want to leave me behind.
Any way, I learned in the me and Dustin therapy that it was not my fault and he really did not hate me, but it sure seemed like he enjoyed hurting me with his words. Words, as you have shown here, are a very powerful tool. I have said before my words can encourage others but they can also discourage others. I never want to discourage others. I know what it is like to be beat down by someone else's words. My 1st husband and the father of both my boys was verbally and emotionally abusive. I got out after 5 years of abuse. Now, I have a wonderful husband of 25 years who has been more of a father to my boys that their own flesh was.
Anywho, a long post that did not make much sense. I am known by my friends a someone who speaks my mind and tells it like it is. I have even been called bossy and pushy by some. That therapy helped me learn to do that. But when it comes to my family I am truly "emotionally constipated" and find it hard to "poop". I don't think this helps my MS much. I can even say it has led to relapses in the past.
But, I just don't know how to get past it. That is why I am so thankful for everyone here on the site. You do not judge me or shun me or label me because we all suffer the same freaking, sometimes unbearable disease.