This Is MS Multiple Sclerosis Community: Knowledge & Support

That video was something else. Very cool. I don't know if Pookah the wonderdog would have even done that!

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Today I am grateful for my beautiful wife. I have been really struggling emotionally and mentally about the whole "to work outside the home, or not to work outside the home" thing. Well the process required for me to make that decision involves a lot of gnashing of teeth and dealing with questions like "I feel good right now, but how am I going to feel after climbing the flight of stairs, or even walking to the toilet?". So it has lead me down the path of all the things I can't do anymore as I have been trying to sort of pro and con the whole thing. Well then that made me sad.

I was at the table crying about me and my wife's future together. I can still imagine us together when we get older, but it was going to be on the golf course, or on the bike trail, or taking long walks, or working in the yard together, or something like that. I did all the right things. I kept in shape. I didn't screw around with hard drugs (Ok, a little blow and shrooms in college) and wasn't a hard drinker. I don't cry too often, but it just nailed me right there where I was sitting reading the mail. Well she came up behind me and didn't even know my face was all wet and she just told me she loved me. Boy did I need to hear that. I guess the stuff I was mourning was just the fluff, the icing on the cake if you will. The big thing is that she loves me and isn't planning on dumping my butt, so when it comes down to brass tacks, I was just mourning the loss of activities, and she came down the stairs and more of less let me know what really matters; that we are a family and we love each other. So I may not have the icing, but I still have the cake.

I know, I'm a big puss but what are you 'gonna do?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJYqMhIYw58

I hope this link works. Since we are on the subject of dogs, I just had to post this, it's the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

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today i am thankful i did not choke the living shit out of a MEP engineer that truly deserves it but the day is still young

i think about that all the time i just can't accept that it's never going to happen.i will be thinking of that when i die.

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Had ms for over 19 years now.

I know Rob. I don't know if I'll ever be able to give those thoughts completely up. We had the bull by the nuts before all of this and that just seems to make it harder to accept.

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Lew,

Today's post was just amazing. I read it aloud to my husband and he had to fight back tears. You see, he is the emotional one and I am the tough one. I have to be since I don't want to upset anybody's life with my problems. Except you guys.

So, with that said, I am so thankful for guys like you (and of course Arti from his previous post) that are not afraid to put your feeling on the table for everyone to read and let my husband know that it OK to cry about and dream of the future. Hey, I like cake....

Also, the Lion is just a puss too and he is king of the jungle.

CF

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Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.

I guess 'inspiration' can be earth shatteringly cathartic, or just something that doesn't seem so big. So today I'm thankful for the Allman Brothers. Why you ask? Well I just put in "Eat a Peach" and listened to the whole damn thing. During and after I just felt good. I felt optomistic and energized; and I have no idea why. Music does that to all of us at one time or another I suppose, so the Allmans get to be my everyman music this morning! I know we all like to get tanked and stuff like that to escape frequently, but music can still do it for me, and for that I am thankful. Didn't cost me anything, I'm not worn out, but it still made me feel great (especially after listening to the guitar in "Blue Sky" ).

I think it came down to me just sitting down with no other pressures and just appreciating it and not letting the 'noise' of life/work/economy sneak in for a while. Not too many things that can do that to me anymore.


One last thing about this thread for me. It has had a profound impact (in the whopping few days I've been posting something on here) on me. Nothing has changed, I haven't had a bunch of good "stuff" happen to me since I started, yet it has helped. It has me thinking, sometimes all day, about what I have to be grateful for. That exercise has really changed my outlook, at least in the short term. I know this isn't going to help 'big' stuff. But we all know what to do in those situations. My problem is "what the hell do I do now to stay happy on a day to day basis?". I have to have something to put a smile on my face; besides sex . I don't have any illusions that this thread right here is going to be what it takes to make me keep my chin up, but it's another tool for the toolbox if you will. I don't know, it feels philosophical and I'm such a nuts and bolts kind of guy that I can't express myself very well, but I just didn't really know that this would help me the way it has.

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that is a fine album

Yes it is!

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great song Loobie doobie


keep your head up pal

I agree completely!

Music heals the soul and make us happy.

I am thankful for the music in my life.

CF

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Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.

I woke up today feeling pretty damn good. It may not last, but today I am grateful that I still have times during the day where I can feel pretty good (usually early morning or right after smoking some pot ). Alot of people who deal with chronic illnesses don't have any times during the day when they feel good. So I'm going to pray for them today, but try my damndest to enjoy the my feeling good time by taking a walk. Which will probably make the rest of the day bad, but at least I'll feel satisfied!

So I went to get the MRI of my knee (It's been really hurting and it's been making me limp severe) and the good news is that the Dr. thinks there's something wrong with my knee!! Now how in the hell can that be good news? Well that means that maybe he can cut me and fix whatever's wrong and I can maybe start doing cardio again! One can only hope .

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Good news for you, Lew! Only folks with an "incurable" disease would look at something wrong that you can fix as GOOD news! I hope you can get that knee back in shape, and stop some pain. You're gonna keep moving.

Jeff's flying back home now. He had a great week making music, playing, conducting and mentoring. So good for his spirit. The sponsoring group booked him a room next to the venue, so he could lie down between rehs. and classes, and he took rests and was able to get thru a whole show last night, and then went out and played in a jazz club after. He sounded happy, but tired, when we talked last night. He knows this is his new body, but he was so glad he could still participate in making music, teaching, creating.

I'm really proud of all you guys....for figuring out the important stuff in life and expressing it, way before many people even get there. As a wife, I'm always glad to hear the deep thoughts...
AC

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Husband dx RRMS 3/07
dx dual jugular vein stenosis (CCSVI) 4/09
dual stents placed 5/09
CCSVI in MS

I hope Jeff does come back with a good new outlook. I know you have said he has had some depressed stuff going on in the last couple of months. He got to play in a jazz club?! I don't know about Jeff, but just thinking about doing something like that makes me think it would be very much some "chicken soup for the soul". A way to get it out if you will. I was listening to "The Chicago Trasit Authority" this morning and I was thinking about Jeff when the trumpet solo came on in "Introduction". Man if I could play just that solo. Every time it comes on I just close my eyes.

I'm very glad he had a good trip. Those things can seem daunting before you do them, but then when you actually go ahead and do them successfully, it's just great. I hope he comes back with those feelings.

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