Attitude of Gratitude

A forum to talk about the general challenges of daily life with MS.

Postby Loobie » Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:59 am

Punchy wrote:I hate that my children will have a mother with MS, but I am so grateful and blessed to be pregnant with a healthy child.


Along the same ilk, I am also sad that my daughter has to deal with this, but I am glad that my having MS is making my daughter very responsible and self sufficient. Love that.

Love your attitude Punch. Take what we have learned from coping and realize that while things suck a great deal of the time, we have really no time to sweat the stuff that just doesn't matter in the grand scheme. The part about the other mothers sweating the needles and the like and you being like "what, a needle? a little pain? Ha!". I guess the whole point of this thread is to find that silver lining that is so elusive in this cloud we live in.

ie, What have I learned from this that's helped me, not here's the pile of stuff I can't do anymore. That's always going to be there without us looking for it. I think we need to actively always keep the positives in front of us so we don't get consumed by the negatives. Keep that chin up and I'm so glad you are looking so forward to your new family member. Nothing quite like that.
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Postby Loobie » Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:03 am

Today I am grateful for the warmth of spring. We all know how bad the heat affects a great deal of us, but for me lately, the cold is just as bad as it stiffens me up in all the wrong places :lol: . So we had a beautiful spring weekend and I felt so good and optomistic with everything growing and it being pleasant out. I was so loose and 'flexible feeling' and it was awesome.

So I'm grateful for the hope that spring brings and the way it helps me feel better than the day before.
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Postby Loobie » Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:04 pm

Today I am so grateful that there are so many people on this board who tirelessly research and do the groundwork while so many of the rest of us can barely make it through a day of work. It can never be overstated how much I personally appreciate it. It gives me some hope looking forward at possibilities, no matter how they turn out, and hope is good!
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Postby Terry » Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:06 pm

Me too, Lew. Some absolutely amazin' people here.
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Postby catfreak » Thu Apr 30, 2009 7:37 pm

I have had a really bad week with work.. I am not as fast as I used to be with my thinking and problem solving and fear I will get laid off. They do not know I have MS.

I am thankful for everyone here, all the advise and research that is done cheer, jimmylegs, digan , Marie and others that mybrain can't recall.
Then their are the ones that make me laugh, cry and put things into perspective like Loobie, Arti, Robbie and Bubba. And my new friend Jules who I can say anything to with no fear of judgement.

I have made friends for life her and I am very thankful for this.

Cat
Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.
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Postby Bubba » Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:43 pm

catfreak wrote: I am not as fast as I used to be with my thinking and problem solving and fear I will get laid off. They do not know I have MS.

I am thankful for everyone here


Can I get an "Amen" to that!

That is my biggest fear yet, my job.
Also, I too am VERY thankful for eveyone here! :D
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Postby Loobie » Fri May 01, 2009 5:35 am

"Amen Brother"!!
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Postby Artifishual » Fri May 01, 2009 5:45 pm

hang in there CF!! pulling for you from your neighbor to the west :wink:
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Postby catfreak » Tue May 12, 2009 6:40 am

Hi guy and gals it's been a while since anyone posted anything so here goes.

I am grateful that that my Mom is finally out of the hospital after 6 weeks. She is doing well and hopefully get stronger everyday. She is a testament to what way too may antibiotics can do to a already weak immune system. They (antibiotics) almost killed her.

I am grateful that I have been able to get out the last 2 mornings and walk for 30 minutes. My day goes better if I start it off right, but this mean old MS won't always let me do that. :evil: :evil: :evil:

I am grateful for my little garden growing outside, which gives me a reason to want to go outside when I feel like shutting myself in forever (mean old MS again) :evil:

I am grateful that so far today the sun is shining (for now) and I still have a job (for now) 8O 8O 8O

Now please share. Let's continue what our dear friend Loobie :) started and be thankful for each other.

Cat :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.
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Postby Loobie » Tue May 12, 2009 8:21 am

Been struggling a bit with gratitude lately. For some reason I have been really angry lately. Not sure why but it needs to go away. It could possibly be from the major run around I am getting for the second time concerning my insurance and Tysabri. It's enough to make you pull your hair out. I have simply finally reached my HPP (highest point of pissitivity) and can no longer even talk with anyone from CVS/Caremark, Precision Specialty Rx, Biogen, Anthem or UHC with any level of rationality, so I'm just punting on that one and switching doctors, infusion sites and everything. Long story no time there.

At any rate I am grateful today for the hope that CCSVI has brought to me for some potential relief. I hesitate to call it anything other than that until we have a number of us done and years have gone by and we've stopped progressing/gotten some repair and we're all out on the speaking tour :lol: :lol: (see I feel better already). I am very grateful that this research has been 'reined in' by some of our own into an actual procedure that we can choose to have done. So many times we hear of things that sound neat, and that we would like to even try, but have no mechanism/DR/clinic to have it done. Well that's not the case here and this comes with something we can actually DO. That's huge and I'm very grateful to have that to look forward to.

Oh, and spring is cool too CF!! :lol:
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Postby robbie » Tue May 12, 2009 12:16 pm

I am grateful for my wife and everything she does to keep us afloat both financially and just understanding the situation. I sometimes overlook her own struggles with diabetes and how it makes her feel. One thing that is really hard for me is that in the normal way of life I would be the one to look after her but it’s the other way around, I am grateful to have her
Had ms for over 19 years now.
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Postby Loobie » Wed May 13, 2009 4:38 am

Here's to the wives dude (beer mugs clinking). :)
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Postby catfreak » Sun May 17, 2009 7:44 am

OK, my turn again.

I am grateful for my husband, who loves me inspite of my moody MS behavior! (Nice to have something to blame it on :twisted: :twisted: )

I am greatful for Adderall, which gives me the energy to do what I need to do on a daily basis.

I am grateful to God for giving me my ability and the good sense to stand up for myself when someone is belittling me. Like we don't already have a complex about not being perfect anymore because of what MS has taken from us. I wrote an email to the person at work that was ripping me apart for not being fast enough at my "new" job I started in februaru. By the end of the week I found out I had been transfered back to the job I was doing before and by the way loved, loved, loved doing. I start back doing this job on the 26th!!! :P :P when I get back from vacation.

Did I mention I am on vacation, on the beach, in the middle of the "redneck riviera" in Gulf Shores, AL. No, work to worry about. Just worry a bit about the kitties, but my stepson is going by daily feeding them and scooping the litter box :oops: :oops:. I am grateful for him and the fact that he is doing this for us.

What are you thankful for??? 8)

Cat
Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.
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Postby Artifishual » Sun May 17, 2009 6:31 pm

good for you Cindy! have fun! :D
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I had a Jerry Macquire night last night

Postby Loobie » Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:58 am

I need to make a post here today. It's been too long and this is/was very therapeutic for me. I need it after the last few weeks.

Although I just had a "knock your junk in the dirt" relapse, I'm grateful that I'm still ambulatory. The distance I can make before I need to stop has decreased markedly, but I can still walk on my own.

Although it's left me weaker, dizzier and crazier than a few weeks ago, I am still functioning, and for that I'm grateful; but only becuase I know it could be much worse. I ain't liking this in any capacity, but I have to, have to work on thinking forward.

Although I pissed the bed 3 times again last night, I'm thankful for Heavy duty lawn and garden bags as they saved my mattress from smelling like a gas station urinal 8O . I'm grateful because having the foresight to prepare for a wet night makes the clean up much easier and I could just put another towel down on top and go back to sleep.

I'm struggling to find it, but bear with me, I think I almost cracked a smile. I spent a good deal of last night thinking about what I've lost. A couple of hours probably. I was feeling so slighted. Doesn't God know how much of a physical guy I was before I got this shit? I was a state ranked racquetball player, had a 10 handicap, did everything at the home myself, I was the "workout guy" of the neighborhood, and the sex? don't get me started on that. Oh woe was me. Then I just had to think that each and every one of us has this to deal with; not just me. All that stuff was great, but if I stay stuck on it, I can't move on. The problem is I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON DAMNIT! I STILL WANT TO DO ALL THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. I LOVED MY LIFE WITH A PASSION, I HAD IT DICKED!! THIS SUCKS..AARRRGGH!

I don't quite know how yet to stop yearning for the things I just keep losing. It's not something that I think we come equipped with. For that reason I need to come on here and ramble. I won't give up on life, but I don't WANT to accept the one I've been given. But I have to begrudgingly accept some Mick Jagger gospel; "you can't always get what you want". What choice do I have but to accept it? What good does it do to keep mourning the past since I can't go back there? It doesn't do any good, but it's so hard not to do. BUT it is neccessary if I'm not going to let this disease take me down. The only thing I can do is move forward. That's a literal statement. I have to move forward with my life and try and achieve peace of mind in this condition. That sucks, but there is a quote from Rick Warren that I find helpful. After his wife's cancer he had quite a few profound insights. One of them deals with their why me questions. It ended up loosely saying that his feeling is that God is not interested in our comfort. He is interested in our character. And whether you believe in God or not, that gives a different look to our condition.

It fully appears that our lives may very well not have much 'comfort' in them anymore. But how do you live with that 24/7 and still stay engaged in life? How do you put a smile on your face? How are the little things ever going to seem fulfilling again? How is anything ever going to feel fulfilling again? How in the hell do you ever just freaking relax? I don't know that I can say I have any insight whatsoever into that. However, for now anyway, maybe my purpose is to try and find that peace of mind and some calm in the middle of this shit storm. Maybe it's the pursuit of peace in the midst of pain that will give me some way of looking forward.

I think I'll go with that for right now. It's all I can think of, and as always, I'm eternally grateful for my family and for all of you guys. For now anyway, I can't say the old standby "we'll get through this" becuase right now there is no other side to get through to. But to over use a trendy phrase, it is what it is and if I choose to live, then I'm going to have to be OK with that.
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