tired and want to

A forum to talk about the general challenges of daily life with MS.

tired and want to

Postby robbie » Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:34 am

-tired of waking up
-tied of the effort to do everything
-tired of my marrige becomming like two roommates sharing a house
-tired of thinking theres only one way to stop this
-just tired
-tired of my knees bouncing all the time
-tired of thinking how my wife and i won't have anything we wanted out of life
-want to stand to put on my pants
-want to stand to brush my teeth
-want to stand up in the shower
-want to cut my own meat
-want to pump my own gas, be able to drive first
-want to walk into a fancy resturant with my gorgeous wife on my arm
-want to make love afterwards
-want healthy people to appreciate what they have and appreciate their good health and not complain about shit that really doesn't matter
-want to play golf with my buddies
-want to never see my wheelchair again
-want to play fetch with my dog
-want my motorcycle back
-want to work again
-havig real trouble transfering from the chair
-wondering whats next
-what will happen
-relize theres only one way to do life and thats not from a wheelchair
-it's months now not years and i am grateful in a way
-wish i had a different disease
-I must come across as being so negative all the time but trust me 10 years or more ago I was just like everyone here, doing things and being so positive about life and that this disease would not beat me.
- When I read posts its funny how suggestions for symptom relief are based on how bad you are affected by ms, diet and vitamins seem to be the norm. Knowing what I do now I would eat whatever I enjoyed and not spend a nickel on supplements.
-i read all the posts on how great different things are and we forget how it is just the way ms is
-When you talk to someone about ms most think that being in a wheelchair is the worst it can do but that can just be the start. I have lost my legs so I’m in a chair all the time, but now it’s after my arms and hands and even worse my core strength. So being in a chair I have dealt with but not sure about what is coming. If I was just confined to a chair but felt normal in all the other ways I would continue with life, maybe spots or weights but I can’t so here I am.
Last edited by robbie on Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:41 pm, edited 18 times in total.
Had ms for over 19 years now.
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Postby catfreak » Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:48 am

Robbie,

You are on my mind everyday. Just remember we are all hear for you. Not much help, I know. But we are here.

:cry: We do feel your pain. Everybody on here in some form or another understands how you feel. You are loved.

CF
Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.
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Postby robbie » Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:55 am

it's just to bad for all of us catfreak my wife has type one diabetes and needs to be looked after and understood more than i can come close to. she has to look after me now and thats not what i want
Had ms for over 19 years now.
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Postby Loobie » Fri Mar 13, 2009 8:17 am

I hear you Robbie. I don't know what to say because everything stated in your mini rant are things we all deal with at one time or another. It just looks like yours is happening all at once and that must feel crushing. You know we love you brother, and all I can say is I wish you well and pray the Lord gives you some peace of mind.
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Postby catfreak » Fri Mar 13, 2009 8:31 am

Rob,

My Mom has type 1 diabetes also. Her life is a struggle everyday - so much worse than mine by far. But she is the strongest person I have ever know in all my life. How she keeps going just boggles my mind. I draw my strength to get out of bed everyday by just thinking about what she must be feeling that day.

She also has rhumetiod arthritis, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis, no feeling in her feet, constant kidney infections for which she has to take an antibiotic twice a day, she is on oxygen at home and has to take it with her if she goes somewhere. She has had a broken back, open heart surgery (4 bypasses), gallbladder surgery, the veins in her legs ballooned out and stints put in 6 times in one year. She has had a sore on her little to that has caused her to almost lose that toe and maybe more of her foot if they can't get it healed. This toes thing has been going on for 4 months. She is now having to get wound care which is very painful and she is getting into a hyperbaric chamber 5 times a week in order to get some oxygen to that bad toe. I could add more but I will stop.

My son and my niece called me 2 weeks ago panicing because when they spoke with her she broke down and cried. She never cries in front of anybody.

She told both of them she was "just tired of it all" "and wanted it to be over". That broke my heart. My Mom is my mentor and my idol. If I could be half as strong as her while living with this crappy MS disease, then I will make it.

We all draw our strength from different places. My Mom is mine.

Who or what is your? Find it and grab on to it.

CF
Holly - Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd

9/3/09 Stanford - Dr Dake - Stent in R-J to unblock Arachnoid Cyst in Sigmoid Sinus. Stent in narrowed L-J. Balloon in narrowing where R & L Jugulars meet.
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