Partner with MS

For questions on how to support loved ones with MS.

Partner with MS

Postby Pimppeter2 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 10:10 pm

My girlfriend had an MS scare. She's only 20, and he's been upset over it for the past couple of days. She's (I think) convinced it's already started.

Being 300 miles away, I can't do much to comfort her, especially due to some complex circumstances, we can't talk all that much.

I would very much appreciate any help on this issue.
User avatar
Pimppeter2
Newbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:00 pm

Advertisement

Postby SandyK » Sun Jan 16, 2011 10:37 pm

Ask her to come on board. I think there's a lot of us who were diagnosed at her age. We'd love to talk with her.
Diagnosed 1994, Self EDSS is 6.5
User avatar
SandyK
Family Elder
 
Posts: 221
Joined: Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:00 pm
Location: WA

Postby Pimppeter2 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:38 pm

SandyK wrote:Ask her to come on board. I think there's a lot of us who were diagnosed at her age. We'd love to talk with her.


I don't think she'd want to, plus I'm doing this slightly behind her back. But I care about her, a lot. And this is a difficult situation for her and I feel useless.

It seemed like she wanted to get her mind off of it more than anything, so for example today I wrote her a short story and talked her through it. Kind of a "story time" date before Bed. Which seemed to go 50/50 successful. She got into it (slightly? At least it seemed like that) but then she was exhausted so we decided to pick it up later


I'm trying to do some cute things for her, since I feel so useless, but nothing seems to be working.

She kind of wants to be left alone, but I'm not sure. That just seems like a sure way that she'll end up depressed.
User avatar
Pimppeter2
Newbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:00 pm

Postby lyndacarol » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:10 am

This is time for you to evaluate your own relationship with her. If you are unwilling to stick by her long-term, this would be the time to exit the scene. I think her efforts to "pull back" are her way to allow you to do this.

I think you are correct when you said:

She kind of wants to be left alone, but I'm not sure. That just seems like a sure way that she'll end up depressed.


I would suggest that she needs more attention now than ever.
User avatar
lyndacarol
Family Elder
 
Posts: 2311
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:00 pm

Postby Pimppeter2 » Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:12 pm

lyndacarol wrote:This is time for you to evaluate your own relationship with her. If you are unwilling to stick by her long-term, this would be the time to exit the scene. I think her efforts to "pull back" are her way to allow you to do this.


I've told her that I'm in this for the long run, and I want her in my life for as long as we possibly can. She has trouble believing it, but says that it will come in time.

I'm young, but I'm steadfast in my beliefs. I've had close family friends with MS and Huntington's, and I know generally what our future would be like. Yet I want nothing more than to be there for her, whatever it takes.

I think you are correct when you said:

She kind of wants to be left alone, but I'm not sure. That just seems like a sure way that she'll end up depressed.


I would suggest that she needs more attention now than ever.


She's no longer allowed to speak to me for the time being. Great.

Anyways, if this all does eventually work itself out, can anyone give me more details on what to expect in the future? Maybe even things I can do to be proactive instead of reactive?
User avatar
Pimppeter2
Newbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:00 pm

Postby lyndacarol » Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:40 pm

There is no judgment here on your decision; and young people can make good decisions. You know the situation, you know the people involved, you are the only one who can make your decision. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your girlfriend.

You have known people with MS (there is a wide range of severity of disease symptoms). Imagine a worse case scenario and decide if you are up to dealing with that. None of us can know what the future holds; most of us did not anticipate we would have this awful disease to deal with.

Whatever situation prohibits her from speaking to you, those conditions may be a good test of your determination.

My suggestion for being proactive is to read, read, read; educate yourself as much as possible on the disease and treatments that are out there today. I think many new ideas are coming. If you will ever help in the decision-making process, you will be of greatest help if you can be up on new treatments. I send you my best wishes.
User avatar
lyndacarol
Family Elder
 
Posts: 2311
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:00 pm

Postby Bender » Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:51 pm

If it's an MS "scare" and not a diagnosis you should try and comfort her, but also make sure that she doesn't get so focused on the idea that it's MS that she doesn't find out what it is if it isn't MS.
User avatar
Bender
Family Elder
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 3:00 pm


Return to Friends and Family

 


  • Related topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users


Contact us | Terms of Service