Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

For questions on how to support loved ones with MS.

Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby mattalleng » Tue May 17, 2011 4:00 pm

Do your friends and family typically check up on you to see how your doing? None of mine do, not my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my old friends, no one unless I go visit THEM. No one drops me a message on Facebook or anything like that. I talked to a lot of my MS friends on Facebook and a lot of them felt the same way. Some of the said its basically just the hype dying down... Isn't that kind of messed up? I deleted a lot of people off facebook today because I mean, if they can't even just say hi every once in a while then why are they even my friend you know?

http://www.mattsms.com

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000358247512
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby Maledicte » Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:50 pm

None
'Tho I have no one anymore
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Maledictesjewels
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby jennypenny » Mon Jan 02, 2012 9:36 pm

I think sometimes family and friends don't know what to say. How would some of them respond if you said "hey, I wobble like a drunk, have some incontinence, can't feel anything below my waist, and my drugs make me think suicidal thoughts". I think family and friends want to know and believe you are fine, they don't want to hear about the ugly parts. That somehow it would be to uncomfortable for them. I know it sucks, but I've also had to learn how to say hey I need some help because I'm having trouble doing certain things.
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby mattalleng » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:24 am

Yeah bit all they got to say is "hey, what up?" and that is better then nothing! I don't know, since I posted this my relationships with so many people have gone up down and everywhere in between until finally some of them has disappeared and to be honest I kind of like it this way now.
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby Choupinette » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:48 am

I am sorry about the void you must feel around you. This is what happens, because relationships shift, but there's no reason you cannot find new relationships.

Friends and family typically have no idea what you're going though. The less you tell them (unless they *genuinely* ask), the better it is. Keep your tale of woe to other MS sufferers and your therapist (hope you have one.) People do not like to listen to sad things, that's all. So instead, try to find common topics to talk about, like music, children, gardening, politics, movies, whatever, and call them. Ask them out to lunch (if you can). Ask them if you can visit, etc. The burden of the relationship is on you. And yes, you can ask them for help from time to time, for specific things (pick up some groceries, etc.) If they respond, fine. If they don't, fine.

Also a suggestion: I don't belong to any church myself, but some of them are very involved with members and they do help each other. Maybe you can make new friends there. See how they greet you when you first visit: are they helpful? Do they talk to you? If they do, it's a good sign.

If this is possible, you could check out other MS people in your area and see if any of them would be up for some fun!
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby ElliotB » Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:58 pm

No. It certainly is a strange situation, isn't it!
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Re: Do your friends and family typically check up on you?

Postby misslux » Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:41 pm

I'm fortunate to have an incredible family support system. Most of my friends live in the US but they are in constant contact and strive to learn more about my disease course. I also take the initiative to stay in contact and don't talk about MS unless they ask.
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