This Is MS Multiple Sclerosis Community: Knowledge & Support

I was DX with MS in 2000, and have participated in the walk every year since then, even if I could only walk 1/2 block (which was the first 2 years after DX on a good day). I am going to walk again this year. Every year when it gets closer to the walk, I become very angry that not one person in my family (7 sisters and 2 daughters) has ever donated or volunteered themselves. I just can seem to work through this, and as it is getting closer, I don't even want to be around any of them because I am so resentful. Last year explained to my family if it was any of them, I would be participating on their behalf-but they just don't get it. I don't want to be angry, but I am. Already arguing with my children. Any suggestions on how I can come to terms with this?

Cathy,

That really sucks that they don't want to get involved, but I have two thoughts for you:

1) Maybe if you're really pushing, and I don't mean to imply that you are, they are resentful of you expecting it of them. Maybe if you talked about the event in a really positive way (how much fun it is, how much it does for the MS community) without insisting that they should be a part of it, some might come around on their own.

2) If you do manage to guilt some of your family into participating when they don't really want to, you'll probably find that you don't want them there. It's better that they don't show up at all than show up with a bad attitude.

I hope that helped.

Becky

I was wanting to walk this year but have questions. I walk 1.25 miles (on a treadmill) in 20 minutes 3 times a week. I was wanting to get up to the 5k range but it doesn't look like that will happen. I might possibly be able to go the whole distance with enough breaks, but what if I can't? I wanted to do more than the 1 mile fun walk though. What should I sign up for? Any suggestions appreciated.

The walk I attend have people on golf cart sort of things that will bring you back to the finishing point if you can't walk the entire 5k.

I think the thing with my kids, age 16 and 26, is that I did make them walk with me the first 2 years-they just don't want to do it. I am not going to say anything more about it-I am just going to go myself. It is really nice to do-usually the weather here is beatutiful and it gets me outside.

Cathy, I'm sorry that you are lacking the moral support you need from your family. If only any one of us could figure out family dynamics...!

Can I share a more supportive story? A year ago I was dx'ed. Due to the timing of the dx and what was going on at work, everyone in my office found out right away. Other than giving me the time I needed to get myself together, they haven't treated me any differently and since a year ago, we have seldom talked about it. On Monday I found a MS walk brochure in my mailbox. It was being circulated through the office by some of my co-workers who have formed a team and are soliciting additional members. I can't describe how deeply their action has touched me. Often, I wish they didn't know about my MS, but I may change my tune because it has given my co-workers the opportunity to show me how beautiful they are. I wasn't planning to do the walk, but I am now!

carolsue

How wonderful Carolsue-My coworkers are who I receive donations from. One of the paralegals I work with donates $100 every single year. Glad to hear you are going to participate as well.

I had a nice moment at work last week as well. I was at our corporate office in Houston for a meeting and I noticed some ladies with the company setting up a bakesale in the lobby. I asked them what it was for and they told me that they were raising money because every year we and another large oilfield company sponser the MS150, which is a bike ride from Houston to Austin to raise money for MS research. I thought that was really neat. I hadn't seen anything about it in any of the company news releases.

My company has donated $200 for me. We are a company of 7 people so I thought that was awesome. Don't feel bad nobody in my family has showed in signs in walking either. You know what I really don't need them too this is my fight with or without them I have to do this. I walk for you guys and me. It's really hard coming to terms with this diease. I have my bad days and good. I have only been diagnosed 4 months now. You never quite understand when a person tells you "If you have your health you have everything" until it happens to you. I would trade all my worldly possessions to be 100% again but I make the best of everday......You kinda know what it is really like to live one day at a time......and really thats what we all should really do. Healthy or Not....

The weather for the walk was perfect. I didn't make it the whole 5k but
the path zigzagged back and forth and so when I started staggering, it
was crossing by where the whole thing
started and I could just stop. My wife said our 2nd grader complained
how tired his feet were the whole way, and then said we he got to the
end that it wasn't that bad. The large number of dogs was something
else, and I hope they make them walk at the back of the pack next
time or just ask people to leave them home. If they split off the 10k and
5k walkers from the 1k fun walkers closer to the start, it wouldn't be such
a massive traffic jam for such a long time. That also wore me out and
limited the distance I could go. But overall it was good and we are
looking forward to next year.

The weather here in Fla was perfect as well-in the 50-60's this morning. I was able to walk the entire 6.2 k. Lots of people with ms participating-it was really nice.

Cathy,

I have a thought on why you family may not be very receptive on your efforts to try to get them to participate.

In my own personal experience dealing with my family in regards to my MS. It is very emotionally distressing for them to deal with me having MS. They would rather not talk about it. They have no idea what to say to me when I do try to talk to them about my MS. If I was participating in a walk that I could not finish because of my MS symptoms it would be devastating for them to watch.

I don't know how your family has dealt with your diagnosis.

I hope your MS Walk goes well.

Alicia

Thanks Alicia-I participated int the walk last Sunday-it was a beautiful day and I got a lot of enjoyment out of it-its was just nice being outside honestly-I have a tendency to stay in on the weekends to rest and be ready for the next week.

I am not so upset about my family now that the walk is over-for some reason I do find myself being very resentful about their apparent lack of interest for what ever the reasons are. I am okay now-and will probably not even think about this again until next year.

Hope you are well.

Cathy