so...tomorrow i go to see my neuro. i am so excited to see him again. it has been several years; however, we do bounce e-mail to each other. of all the drs i had seen over 5 years (trying to figure out what was wrong with me) he was the first one to say "BLA" and be right, and know what i was talking about, and look at me as if i were NOT crazy. when i was 1st dx'd, i thought my life was completely over. this is what terrified me ~ he knew what i was saying, and he knew what he was saying ~ i had ms ~ no more guessing. i have never had such a feeling of loss and fear before in my life. i could only ask, "will you be my doctor?" i had been shuttled around between specialists so much that i just wanted one doctor, and i wanted it to be him. do i love my neurologist? yes. is it transference? no. i love him b/c he has dedicated his life to helping us, and because he said, "yes, we (himself and his clinic staff) will take you under our wing" ~ and he held up his arm as if it were a wing and flapped it ~ and despite the fear i was feeling he made me smile. it makes me tear up thinking about it now. so freud is a nut, transference (aka falling in love with your dr) is not the same as love and admiration and gratitude ~ all of which i have for my neuro...
have you hugged your neuro lately?
< March 20, 2004 = I want my life back *sigh*
> March 20, 2004 = ...day one on alertec = getting my life back? *grin*