Thank you both for the replies! I printed your post Carole and gave it to him yesterday. His doctors put him on a new med the other day that so far is working but he's going to hang onto your suggestion and give it a try if this other one doesn't work.
I don't believe it's insensitive at all, I appreciate your honesty and so does he. Thing is, he accepted the cards life dealt him a long long time ago and he doesn't look to the doctors for his hope (he says that's an awful lot of pressure to put on the health care profession). All he expects from them is palliative care, as long as they can keep him comfortable enough so he can continue living his life he's happy. This man has done more in the 20 odd years that he has been confined to a wheelchair/bed than most with a fully cooperative body will do in their entire life time. He told me a story of when he first was diagnosed with MS, he had started drinking quite heavily and one night his wife wrestled him to the ground and sat on him, she told him that he had MS and that he needed to start accepting that (that was a year before she died of breast cancer). After that he put away the booze and started doing more than just accepting and dealing with it. His first major project was to chair the committee that eliminated all physical barriers at Expo 86, he began Canada's first 100% accessible taxi fleet in 1988, he helped put together the team that brought accessible buses to the Greater Vancouver Regional District, he lobbied for the 'sacred space' a place of worship and prayer in the long term care facility that he lives, his most recent project is a recently approved proposal he drew up to have a solarium built in the facility where he lives, now he's working at hounding the bank for funding. He is an abundance of inspiration, hope and determination, he is a friend /brother/father/advisor/mentor/intercessor for me and many. He is also quite determined that in 3 years time he's going to two step with me. The very last thing he wants to do is 'bail out'. He dreams big, he prays big, and so far... his really big God, has never let him down.