Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words, support and understanding... you have already made my birthday happier than it would otherwise have been and, although I might be a bitter old cynic, I can still tell good people when I meet them and all of you more than qualify for that title!
A thought struck me in the middle of the night last night which made me feel terribly guilty, and is something I must put right now. I suddenly realised that, if you are newly diagnosed with MS or are new to the site and you read my post, my description of my life could make you feel even more frightened and depressed about the future. Please, please don't take it like that -- what happened to me is very unlikely to happen to you -- first, even if you never received any therapy for the rest of your life, it's only a minority of us who get this bad so my present is not your future; second, check-in regularly at this website and you'll get a good, generally morale boosting, picture of all the acres of research and breakthroughs which are going on all the time, and the many promising new therapies which are just over the horizon... things which, hopefully, will slow the disease down and allow enough breathing space for the discovery of "The Big One" which will stop it in its tracks. Third, just because I haven't found a regimen, supplement or lifestyle that helps, doesn't mean that you should be discouraged from trying anything which you think might help -- my mum, step dad and I tried all sorts of things between us, but no one can try everything and you need to give things plenty of time before you can tell whether you think it's helping or not. As I said, if you feel better in any way, and for whatever reason, it's a good thing -- just keep your "Spam filter" on so that you can avoid the many charlatans out there who will sell you moon dust if they see an opportunity to exploit a vulnerable person who is in desperate need of hope.
To gwa -- thanks for confirming my suspicions about beatms. After I posted yesterday, I had the awful feeling that I'd got the wrong person and half-expected a lawsuit in the post this morning!
To becca -- I remember so vividly what it felt like when I had to get my first wheelchair: it's like a dark, unwelcome milestone has been reached in your life... "other people are in wheelchairs, aren't they? But me?... there must be some mistake!" The range of conflicting emotions goes round and round in your head: it's such a relief not to have to worry about whether you can make it round the supermarket any more, or to the next seat, but you'd absolutely love to be in a position where you can moan about your heavy shopping, or grumble about how you haven't sat down all day. You might just philosophically accept that it helps you to do some of the things you used to enjoy, or you might loathe it because of all that it represents; all the little things that everyone else takes for granted like reaching for something off-the-shelf, or being able to see across the store, or just doing things spontaneously instead of having to ask for help and plan everything like a military operation. You might want to plaster it with wacky stickers just because that's the type of person you are, or you might wrap tinsel round at a Christmas in a desperate attempt to prove to the world that "I'm normal, I'm still fun, you can still talk to me". You might really enjoy the fact that you will get the best parking spaces and the very best seat at concerts, shows and events, or you might hate the fact that you can't simply just get up and dance. You might really appreciate the kindness and consideration shown to you by strangers, or you might detest the unintended condescension of some of those around you. All of these things and many, many more may be in your head at any time; and it's all perfectly understandable -- you may laugh it off, as I used to do, and when you get home and are being transferred into your armchair by carers heave a heavy sigh and exclaim, "It's good to sit down!".
To Chris55 -- I truly hope that what I have said above will show you that I am not in the habit of ridiculing any idea that comes along. My hackles rise, however, when I see something like beat's original title for this thread which was something like, "God has shown me the cure for MS", and later changed, perhaps by the site administrators. To me, this comes perilously close to what I said before about raising the hopes of vulnerable, frightened people, (which includes all those family and friends of people with MS), and is not acceptable unless what you have to say is genuinely startling. I am sure that the subject of the thread has merit, but there was nothing revelatory in it. My original post was honestly just a little, little joke, but I apologise if it has offended you or anyone else. I must also apologise to everyone for hijacking this thread and taking it away from its original subject.
My original, "vow of silence", didn't last very long, did it? I couldn't let your kindness go unanswered, though, so maybe now we can turn our attention back to the real demon out there: this awful, shitty disease.
As the comedian Dave Allen used to say: "May your God go with you",
EDIT: In my defence, I'd just like to make one more point which I'd forgotten about: in beat's original post which started this thread not only was the title completely different, but the link contained within it took you to a home page which made claims and statements unsubstantiated by fact. Some of us obviously saw this before it was changed and reacted accordingly, in an effort to dissuade unscrupulous posting. Those of you who did not see it perhaps saw our reaction as unreasonable.
Last edited by TwistedHelix on Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:12 am, edited 1 time in total.