You guys are great. Thanks for the words. They have helped me today. As you can tell by the 'tone' of my post, it's been a tough day (two weeks). Dom, your insight, as usual, is spot on. One thing I wanted to tell you is that I do indeed have plenty of people that I can talk to. My wife is always there for me and she actually suggested I make a post. As we all know, no one but some else going through this can really relate; with the exception of Bob
since he is so tireless in his research, he really is close to feeling what we go through. That's my belief anyway. My support structure of my wife, family and friends are as good as anyone could ever wish for, but I have only one other family member with MS. She uses a walker and is useless to talk to; she does not like to talk about MS. She is the world's best small talker, so if you want to gab about the weather, she's there for you, MS, not so much. That is why I spend so much time on here. Like I've said before, this is our AA.
I do feel like the straw that broke the camel's back is a good analogy. I have another podiatrist appt. tomorrow and if he tells me to stay off of it then I will do it. It's very hard for me to pull the trigger and miss any work. I already miss an entire day every other month (and soon again to be once a month when the extension starts) and I am one of those perfect attendance type of people that abhors missing work unless I have a bone sticking out. Other than the Avonex depression, this is the worst place I've been in the six years of dealing with this. Shortly after I went off of Avonex, it went away. I hope I can get out of this funk as well.
Bob, I am really in the need of something to look forward to. Thanks for pointing out to me about the upcoming extension. It's only four months for me now (end of Nov.), but it just seems like an eternity right now. It's amazing how I could have not keyed in on that, but that's just where my head is, so thank you. I've been so fixated on November it's almost funny to me to have to have that pointed out. It's crazy what obsessing on something will do to your thought process.
G, hang in there too. I wish you lived closer so you could come visit and we could have a beer or eight. We do sound so much alike with the exception of the marriage thing and I think about you often and how I would absolutely be lost with out my baby. That has to just suck. I was like you with the "pillar of strengh" role I traditionally played. Very physical; a big presence. I am learning how to change that slowly and I can't say I've come to grips with that at all yet, but it's not stinging so bad in regards to that as it used to. I am now officially six years removed from my last racquetball tournament that I played for Head racquet sports, and I am coming to peace with really missing my Sunday morning games and that type of stuff I had to give up. I used to love to get up on Sundays and drink some coffee and then go to the courts. I would get a real sense of calm and peace that my life was just like I planned. It really could not have been going better. But that has changed and how often do even normal people stay in the same place of true peace of mind for really long periods?
I really need to process my crap by shining a light on it and you guys just don't know how much I appreciate your honest words. I am grateful and blessed to have friends like you all.