Hi Bluegem, and welcome to the forum
I'm afraid i won't be too much of a help right now as I am also a newbie and still have yet to be diagnosed.
And I can't say whether or not I think you have MS, BUT I can tell you that I do know what you're going through! I have had some very sad moments over the past month or so thinking about my future and what it might bring and sometimes the thought of what might be scares me to the point where I'm paralyzed, in a sense. not physically, really, but i specifically remember one night where i was tired after running around all day and not sleeping the night before, it was the first hot day in the city, my vision was really out of whack, i had had a rough week, just moved in to a new apt. all by myself, and of course being the dumbie that i am sometimes i went online to Google and basically convinced myself i would be in a wheelchair by 30. Needless to say, that was a low point. it's embarrassing to say how worked up i got over it when i haven't even been diagnosed yet but i was just in my apt. alone, scared and teary eyed, and i just broke down. Anyway i'm not trying to tell you my sad story to scare you or worry you, but because if it was me, i'd like to know that there was someone else that felt that way. This forum is a great, great place. I believe it was shortly after that incident that I joined here, and I have found more support than I expected. Since that night, sure there are times when i've been scared, but i've been feeling a lot better lately. I don't know why exactly. I'm naturally a very anxious person, and so you can imagine that this possible diagnosis has completely thrown me over the edge. one thing, however, that i do firmly believe in is this: every situation is neutral, and your thoughts and reactions are totally separate from it. Basically it's allll in your attitude and how you react to situations. i read this in a book recently and it sounds simple and common sense but in this time i keep telling myself that over and over again and it has helped a lot. if you're interested, the book is called "A New Earth" by eckhart tolle. NEVER, ever in my life have i been one for those self-help books. I thought they were kind of whacky, but, as in many other things, i thought "Well, if Oprah liked it...." (it's a book in her book club). So i thought i'd give it a try. Couldn't hurt, right? Some of his stuff goes a bit over my head and i don't know if i agree with him on everything as some of it is a bit out there, but i can tell you that it has helped me IMMENSELY these past few months.
anyway, sorry for the novel of a post, but i know what it's like to log on to this site and just hope that someone out there hears you and can reassure you! I don't know if i did that, but i hope some of it helps! The others on this website are much, much more handy as far as the medical side of it!
good luck with it all, and remember: MS or not, your life is not over and you WILL be fine!