MS and Sexual Relationships

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Postby notasperfectasyou » Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:26 am

I thought everyone in Canada was friendly?
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Postby mrhodes40 » Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:45 am

Gee, Napay I want to add that you cleared up someting for me, I too have fatigue that lasts at least a day after. I did not recognize the pattern though, until you mentioned it. 8O
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Postby Grumpster » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:04 pm

I have recently found that I have a rapidly decreasing libido. Maybe I need some zinc? Dang. Anywho i am just 38 and I did not notice the decreased drive / desire until after my recent head injury. Before that I was like a dog constantly looking for a bone (bad analogy) Everything has changed since then including a wicked case of ongoing vertigo. I thought that i might just be feeling too crappy to be interested in sex. Another problem may be that i feel the wife is viewing me more and more like a patient and less like her husband / lover. How can you be feeling sexy if you feel like a warmed over corpse; headache, vertigo, shakes, etc ? I a going to try and shake the vertigo and take care of the wife properly tonight. wish me luck. - G -
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Postby gwa » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:07 pm

Grumpster wrote:How can you be feeling sexy if you feel like a warmed over corpse; headache, vertigo, shakes, etc ? I a going to try and shake the vertigo and take care of the wife properly tonight. wish me luck. - G -


Hang on tight.

gwa :P :P
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Postby robbie » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:44 pm

i feel the wife is viewing me more and more like a patient and less like her husband / lover.

so hard for a guy
Had ms for over 19 years now.
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Postby jimmylegs » Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:37 pm

good luck grumpster!

i don't know what the zinc will do for shakes/headaches/vertigo, but bf reports being pleased with his recent zinc dosage. quote: "that zinc works GREAT!!!" (jimmylegs agrees 8) )

as to the shakes and other troubles, do you take magnesium? if so, how much and how often and in what combinations? are you on well water, or city water?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/magnes ... cy/AN01191
Magnesium deficiency (hypomagnesemia) may cause...
[*] involuntary shaking (tremors) of the tongue, arms and legs...
* Sudden, involuntary muscle twitches or jerks (myoclonus)
* Muscle weakness
* Sudden sensations of spinning (vertigo)
* Fatigue
* Abnormal heart rhythms (arrhythmia)


if you don't take any, you can look into getting a 500 or 600mg dose of magnesium citrate or some such (the oxide is a little more... loosening shall we say) to take at bedtime. the more you can take the better, up to about 1200mg or so... but i am not brave enough to take that much, i have better things to do than run to the toilet all day!

i've tried the "natural calm" powdered magnesium product that some are using on here and it's not bad - i think i'll get that next when i run out of pills.

hope that helps some,
JL
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Postby Punchy » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:48 am

Both of my last two relapses were brought on by sex (vertigo). I stood up and WHAM, the world started to spin and didn't stop for days.
Now it often will flare up during the deed, sometimes bringing on nausea which causes me to freak out, which really ruins the mood.

Orgasms are really hard on the muscles in my hips too - I'm trying to learn to channel the energy somewhere else. Maybe I need one of those tantric gurus or something :wink:

It's especially difficult because we're trying to get pregnant again, and even for a healthy person that can make sex seem like a chore.
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Postby MattB » Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:18 pm

jimmylegs wrote:ever since i fixed my zinc deficiency i have been waaaay more interested in sex. fun times :twisted:


Men with MS have a zinc deficiency which leads to decreased sex drive? I better not take any zinc.... Well wish I would have when my ex was still around :cry:

But seriously. I'm still extremely young, was diagnosed a year ago and I've seen no difference in my sex drive that I attribute to my MS. I haven't been very interested for the past couple of months(still did a few times anyways :oops: ) but as I mentioned before that's probably because of the situation with my ex.
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Postby MrsGeorge » Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:39 am

Well my situation has changed and i don't know what (if anything i can do).

Since my last relapse a week or 2 ago all of my skin is numb from the chest down. I can feel that I am being touched but I cant feel how strong the touch is, can't tell the difference between strokes, kisses, slaps (seriously i was making adam poke me in the tummy with a sharp knife yesterday just to see if could feel it).

This numbness is everywhere. We tried making love for the first time since my relapse and I can barely feel anything. I'm finding it really hard and I don't know what to do. Me being upset is nothing to do with whether or not I can have an orgasm etc, it's about me wanting the man I love to stop touching me because it just feels wierd, and not actually being able to feel intercourse. I can cope with having to walk with crutches and so many of the other things but this has really upset me.

Has anybody ever experienced this and how do i make it stop?
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Postby jimmylegs » Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:03 am

hi mrs, yep that happened to me when i was diagnosed. i'd had numb feet and wonky knees for a while - then the fall, and one day shortly after that i realized the numbness was climbing, when i got up in the morning and went to the toilet. it kept going, right up to the collarbone, ms hug and all that, and even though numb, hypersensitive. i couldn't stand jeans or cords or even the feel of washing my own hair, and i couldn't picture enjoying touching anything at all, forget about the man. at the neuro's, i could feel when they did the pinprick test up my arms and torso, i could feel the pin point hitting me below the numbline, and it definitely changed to painful when it hit healthy nerves around my shoulders and underarms. to get any better was a long slow learning process starting from scratch, i was on a depressing plateau for a few months, then tried my "modified klenner" protocol and in a few days there was great improvement. my relationship was kind of on the outs there, and by 5 months into it i was in australia away from the bf, so i didn't have to worry too much about the sex issue. i would say it was about six months from dx before i could stand to wash my own hair again, and be able to wear more than soft loungewear.
these days, definitely no probs sex-wise.
mending could be faster for you if you can figure out what the problem is and hammer it hard, and soon. mind you everyone's learning curve takes time too. i think sometimes i had to read the same info four times before it would stick and hang together with the overall picture in my head. good luck making things right(er) ASAP!
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Postby Terry » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:33 am

Hi Mrs George.
In 2006, I was numb from waist down- starting a bit higher on one side than the other. If I sat on the floor (litter box cleaning) I'd have to look around me to tell if I was down or not- no feeling. Once, I was home alone and I think it took me about 20 minutes to get back up. It is hard to make your legs work when you cannot feel them. I learned quickly to do that chore from a child's chair. Still hard, but not stuck on the floor. I would slide off stools, lose my shoes, etc. To the point, I had NO feeling "down there", and I mean none. I even passed gas walking through a store with my son and his girl. I had no idea that it was coming and was so surprised! No feeling- just none. I'd have thought it was someone else, but the sound came from my back side. :(
During that time, I can assure you, I thought my sex life was over. It was not.
Once, since then, I had numbness "down there" and I quietly and sadly freaked out. I was sure that I was on that road again. One day of that and it was over again.
I can tell you that I am better. Just assume it will get better, Mrs George.
You will certainly have to work with your husband to get through this time. He probably needs patience and understanding almost as much as you do.
All my best.
Terry
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Postby Grumpster » Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:11 am

don't know what the zinc will do for shakes/headaches/vertigo, but bf reports being pleased with his recent zinc dosage. quote: "that zinc works GREAT!!!" (jimmylegs agrees )

as to the shakes and other troubles, do you take magnesium? if so, how much and how often and in what combinations? are you on well water, or city water?


I take 120 mg Magnesium along with my multivit. I probably need more. I take no zinc. I got to get some I guess. I did well the other night with the Mrs, but my drive is gone. 6 weeks of vertigo have put me into a dark zone and I feel like hell. Is this a relapse? A 6 week one? I think it may be worsening and here to stay. I hope not because I do not want to go on feeling like this forever. anyway sex is tough when you are so screwed up.

Oh yes, city water here in San Diego. Not too many wells around :)
I use a 2 stage carbon filter for all the chemicals, but the TDS are still there, so I would guess any magnesium would be too. Take care all, G
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Postby jimmylegs » Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:06 am

heya grumps,

there's some debate in the literature about whether magnesium in drinking water has health benefits or not. seem to be more studies out there, so far, saying it's good than saying it's not significant.

either way, for me taking magnesium supplements has helped a lot. i was not eating anywhere near the amount of dark leafy greens needed to get a solid dietary magnesium intake happening. i also avoided good sources like cereals (just don't like cereal), nuts and seeds (high fat). and i was on city water the whole time too.

i don't know how much they remove in order to stop the scale from clogging the pipes and such, or what the remaining content would work out to in mg/L. but if you don't have mineral scale building up in your household kettle, i wouldn't think you're getting very much in your city tap water. could be worth a bit of a boost!

ps. magnesium tests are kind of useless, but zinc tests are useful - maybe you could look into your zinc level and see whether your current multi has you in good standing (to get an idea of "good standing" see the table i previously put together under a topic title (general discussion i think) called something like "boys girls zinc ms and controls" - might be of interest)
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Postby jimmylegs » Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:14 am

found it:
zinc, ms, boys, girls, and controls.
http://www.thisisms.com/ftopic-5486-0-d ... rasc-.html
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Postby Grumpster » Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:46 pm

Thanks much JL. I will take a look and get some Zinc ASAP. I am going to try acupuncture for the vertigo. Western "medicine" ha s left me like a third wife. We will see if that helps. If not I'll try the gasoline enema next... 8O
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