Boopieup, I know that he truly loves me, that's never been the problem but he screwed up majorly. My problem has always been that I'm not selfish enough. I am a people-pleaser even when I don't feel that great. This is something that I'm coming to grips with and know has to change. I have told him that it cannot be that way this time and he says he's prepared to think of me first for a change. We'll see. I just feel like I have enough to deal with and I can't take care of everyone else anymore and forget about me. He has always been supportive and understanding and that is probably one of the reasons I'm even thinking of giving him another chance. I can't blame him for not knowing how I feel because you're right, he has no idea what it feels like. So I guess that means I have to speak up more too. As sad as it may seem losing him made me take a long look at myself and as devastating as it was, I think some good has come from it. I think I need to give myself permission to be selfish and not feel guilty about it. Thanks for your responses.
Dxed Jan 2006. Sx since 2002. Rebif since March 2006. "When one door closes, another opens but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." Alexander Graham Bell