Functioning relationships are built on honestly.
To me this implies you need a relationship first.
You can't compartmentalize something so unique as "your relationship with your new bestest companion ever" into discrete stages like high school teens.
We are adults and we need to make judgements about the uniqueness of our relationships in recognition of how important and special they are. If you're trying to make this call based on whether what has been said, touched or number of dates, they we're not talking about a unique special relationship, we're talking about a game.
The tension that this topic is about is entirely about the risk of rejection. Today's news is ..... if you're going to get rejected, it's going to happen anyway. You can't make me like okra no matter how much you try to make we want it. Then again it's all grey area.
Ok, let me try again. A relationship grows with time. Over time you share more about yourself and you find that things bring you together or wedge you apart. When would you share your religion? When would you share your political views? When would you share about the child support you pay, your credit card debt or anything else Walberg would ask you on his show.
The moment of truth show is a good analogy because many folks get married with secrets they never intend to share. They never get beyond the $25,000 level and then they wonder why others seem to have million dollar marriages and they don't. Fact is, yes it's a risk that it's game over. But, it's way better than getting stuck in a lousy relationship that lacks intimacy because you could never acheive emotional integrity with your bestest friend ever.
I follow that with, you need to study the uniqueness of your 21 question relationship and see where MS fits for you. Maybe FOR your relationship it needs to be one of the first 5 questions or maybe it belongs in the ten toughies that come later. It's not about you, it's not about your friend, it's about how well you understand the way you are or are not growing togther.
ps: So I think when Kim told me, I said something like, "what's MS"? Like, how the heck was I supposed to know. She could have told me ADD or PTSD and I wouldn't have known the difference. Maybe I'm dense, but as I see it this MS-thing was important to Kim, she wanted to tell me about it and therefore it was important to me. I think that's how you know you have a relationship - if I can sense that it's important to you and show that's it's therefore important to me, I don't know that the content of the topic really matters so much.