John - sorry about the confusion. I should have asked if you had coverage at work. DAH!
It is correct - if you have insurance at work, it is the primary and it controls who you see. The Medicare becomes the secondary. It sounds to me like you have an HMO through your wife's coverage
I'm guessing that in this situation sometimes your primary can limit which Dr. you can see?
Yes, your primary, if it is an HMO, can limit what doctor you see. Holly has a good point, either call the insurance company or look through your pamphlet - you will find out what you would need to pay out of pocket if you go out of network. You might have a deductible to meet first, and then a per centage of the costs after the deductible has been met.
Again, sorry for not getting the whole story on your insurance coverage.