jam wrote: I ask her not to do it because it marks the paint . . . she then proceeds to wind me up by going to put her whole hand on the wall
Dittoing the others. This is a major warning sign.
Normal people: Do dumb stuff because they don't realize it bothers you, have different ideas about what is appropriate, etc.
Normal-but-playful people: Do something dumb for above reasons. When you ask them to stop, they stop the behavior, but may tease you about it *verbally* in an affectionate way. (And if you show signs of distress at their teasing, they stop that.) If they should accidentally (habit, etc.) repeat the behavior, when they catch themselves they apologize and immediately stop.
Wacky, self-centered people: Bother people for fun. Anyone who takes pleasure in making you unhappy is a bad person to have around. If confronted they will often go on the offensive and accuse you of "not being able to take a joke" or "being too uptight". This is absolute nonsense. Such a person does not, ever, for any reason, need to be invited into your home. And you should avoid that person's company whenever you have the choice. [If the person is a relative, co-worker, etc., you will have to politely get along at wedding and funerals, meetings, etc.]
Good luck. You aren't crazy.