Personal Ad

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Personal Ad

Postby MSUK » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:13 am

This Ad Was Posted in the Personals Column of a Savannah( Georgia
Newspaper in May 2009.

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 05-27-09, at approximately 1:43 am EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that
I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend,
threatening her life and mine.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my
pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I
was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP
pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it
that very evening.

Obviously you would agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when
pointed at your head.

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet
with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies
to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went
and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas
station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150
gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was
parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window
and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.

Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone
for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?


But before the line was shut down, I managed to get in two threatening
phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really
intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your
number etc. .

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I
feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for
your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some
of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you
have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the
career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
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MSUK
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Postby ariehs » Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:33 pm

Beautiful!
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ariehs
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Location: Montreal

Postby ariehs » Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:18 am

You've been here longer than I have.
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ariehs
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