How it all began....

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How it all began....

Postby ljelome » Sun Feb 03, 2013 3:54 am

The year was 2006, i felt this emptiness inside my soul for over 24 yrs living in this world and after 11 yrs knowing Christ and having born again...why in everything i do i feel life is so boring...Maybe it's because i live for my self all this time...Then i listened to a sermon where the priest said something that'll change my life. He said a christianity life should be experiencing Christ in our lives, not just doing some religious rituals. In my heart i said to God, oh Lord i want to experience U in my life for once.

Nothing happened right after i asked that to God, but 2 years later, in 2008 it all began one morning ...having tingling in my legs and arms after waking up from bed. I didn't know then that it's God's answer to my prayer. Then my symptomps just adding up without any improvement and i didn't tell anybody about it.

Long story short, i couldn't held it in anymore to myself, i confessed everything to my husband, we only got married for 2 months then, i couldn't go to work again coz my body had so little energy even to do small activities. I couldn't stand up for 5 minutes w/o sitting in the middle, i couldn't walk straight coz i had footdrop n lost of balance.

But God is so wonderful for giving me such an understanding and supporting husband that always stays beside me until now.

In early May 2010, after searching 4 months, in and out so many hospitals, done so many tests that just said everything is normal with me. I surrendered to God, i cried out to Him. God...tell me what's wrong with me or just let me die instead, i can't live like this. Then all my dreams was shattered when one doctor told me that I had MS, uncurable disease and would probably progressed all the way.

God, why me? Why have to be MS? What do you want me to do with it? What life would i be living?
Then i started searching for God even more after my 2nd exacerbation in Aug 2011 which left me unable to work again and doing activities normally. My treatments with steroid n Rebif didn't make any significant improvement. Then i come to every miraculous healing service available. I even asked one priest to pray for me so God could heal me. I read my bible everyday, i sing n worshipping Him at home everday, i pray n cry for help to Him. But what i get? my 3rd exacerbation in Oct 2012....Oh God, how could U do this to me. I already become a better person (yeah in my eyes maybe, in His eyes, i don't know). What now? i gave up hope, i gave up my diet, i gave up my supplements. I just said God do whatever U want with me. Let me finish what i come here for n let me die.

Yeah, i was so desperate that time...but when i got hospitalized again n had steroid treatment again, one miraculous thing happened, i got better, better than 2 other treatments i had before which had almost no significant effects. My balance n strength was improved after two weeks getting steroids. Though my stiffness on my back n legs still persist, my foot drop got better, my balance still not back to normal yet, but i can walk indoor w/o holding on to the wall or using walker.

Then again God didn't let me down, He still listens n answers my prayers, He still understand when all of this seems to be unbearable for me. He gives me a way out. He gives me a relief. His promises still prevail, His help still on the way. It's not over yet..till God says so.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NIV)
Warm regards,
Linda

|For the joy of the Lord is your strength | A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones| God always leads us to where we need to be, not where we want to be|
ljelome
Family Elder
 
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:46 pm
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia

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Re: How it all began....

Postby ljelome » Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:34 am

There Will Be A Day (Jeremy Camp)

Here's the link to the mp3 :
http://en.dilandau.eu/download-mp3/ther ... amp-1.html

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." (Proverbs 23:18, NIV)
Warm regards,
Linda

|For the joy of the Lord is your strength | A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones| God always leads us to where we need to be, not where we want to be|
ljelome
Family Elder
 
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:46 pm
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia


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