HELP!

A forum for parents with multiple sclerosis, and how to cope with family life when a parent has MS.
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sam_hoo
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HELP!

Post by sam_hoo »

I am a 26 year old mother of two, Jaden is 6 and in first grade Pauldaniel is 3 1/2. I was diagnosed when i was 11 and since i was homeschooled i was spared the social scars i would have gotten in public school. By the time i was 17 i was fairly symptom free and enjoyed my good health till my daughter was about 6 weeks old. I started working the day i turned 16 and worked full time + untill my daughter was 1. I progressed rapidly her first year and have been on a roller coaster ever since. I would say fatigue and nerve pain are my biggest problems, I also lost feeling in my hands and most of my left side.... this is less troubling for me than the pain :lol:
My daughter has ADHD and is medicated for it. She has always been amazingly active, but she started to have other problems that i could not fix on our own. As someone who carries a veritable pharmacy in my purse its very strange i would have concern medicating my daughter but that how it is. Jaden has always been small. she weighed 24 lbs at her 4 year check up. My son is what is bothering me now. He is a 3 year old boy so i know not to expect too much but he is getting voilent twards me. It doesn't take a lot for a kid to know if you push on my leg i fall down or that i cant run or that if you run upstairs you have a good 10 min before i get up there to find you. He is an AMAZINGLY smart little guy, not so little he is in a 4t pants and a 6t shirt and he is pushing 40 lbs. when Jaden would have a freak out at wall mart when she was 5 i could just pick her up and keep going. I cant do this with him. I cant keep him in time out and i cant spank him_wont spank him_ becasue of the lack of feeling in my hand i'll either hit him to hard or not at all! I'm on dissability and my husband works, I cant get child care assistance unless i say i am unable to care for the kids without supervision. I dont care how strong my marrige is i'm NEVER going to sign something that might risk loosing my kids in the future.

any thoughts?
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NHE
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Re: HELP!

Post by NHE »

Hi Sam,
sam_hoo wrote: My daughter has ADHD and is medicated for it. She has always been amazingly active, but she started to have other problems that i could not fix on our own. As someone who carries a veritable pharmacy in my purse its very strange i would have concern medicating my daughter but that how it is. Jaden has always been small. she weighed 24 lbs at her 4 year check up.
I was diagnosed as hyperactive when I was about 7 or 8 and put on ritalin. It stopped my growth so I was taken off of it. It's possible that your daughter's ADHD medication is stunting her growth. There are other options to pharmaceuticals. I know that fish oil rich in omega-3 fatty acids can be good for ADHD. I recommend reading the book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" by Dr. Daniel Amen. He discusses various neurological conditions and natural treatments and medications that may be helpful for them. In addition, much of his work is focussed around a type of brain imaging called SPECT which stands for single photon emission computed tomography. This type of imaging measures blood flow in the brain thereby allowing an inference of neural activity. You can learn more about Dr. Amen from his website amenclinics.com.

As far as your son goes, it sounds like he is a handful and has figured out your limits and how to get around them. I don't have any suggestions, but it may be of benefit to have someone else around to help you take care of him. Perhaps you have relatives nearby that could help out for a few hours a day or you could hire someone. Just an idea there. I know that it's a difficult situation and I hope that you find something that helps.

NHE
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sam_hoo
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Post by sam_hoo »

Thanks! I wasn't real clear, it wasn't untill we got Jaden her meds that she STARTED growing. she has been on them a year and grown from a 4t (small 4t more for length than waist she always wore a belt) to now she is in a 6x to 7.
I'm at a loss on what to do with pauldaniel. I'm at a point where i dont know if keeping him here is whats best for him. I can use my ticket to work and get a light job that they cant fire me from but that suck all the way around- i'll most likely progress- jobs are rare here and i'd be taking a spot someone else may need more than i do. If i progress i'll not be able to be there for my kids when they get older.
this is one problem i did not forsee. Any tried and true wisdom is apreasiated! I cant get advice for mom/aunts/church cuz none of them understand the whole issue.
Cece
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Post by Cece »

He is three, is preschool an option?

You do not want him being violent toward you. Do you have any leverage, any reward that can be given or taken away depending on behavior?

My youngest is 3 1/2, but it's his brother who just entered kindergarten who gave us the most trouble. It's hard, hang in there....
Santafe1
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Re: HELP!

Post by Santafe1 »

What hours does your husband work? I may be wrong but I know that if my kids didn't behave I would tell them Daddy is going to be upset with you and I would tell my Husband and he would handle it. Just because he works do sent give him a no parenting ticket. I noticed you seemed like you were carrying all the responsibility, I hope you don't feel that way. I do agree that taking away his favorite play things worked for my kids , and now is working for our grandkids, who we are now raising for a couple of years do to family problems with there mother (who was our daughter in law). Yes hang in there and get your husband to help you more. I did and he doesn't mind at all.
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