No one has posted on this forum for almost a year so I'm not even sure if anyone will read this but I'm writing it for my benefit so I don't suppose an audiance is required. I'm 24. I was Diagnossed with MS in late Aug. of this year. My right hand (right hand dominent) basically fell asleep one morning and didn't wake up- for 2 months. Like almost all things untreated and ignored it progressed on its distructive course. My hand went from almost fully functioning but without feeling to a lump of play-dough on the end of a stick- I couldn't use my hand at all for almost a month and then my right leg started to become numb as well and a doctor visit was in order. I had done some research on what could be causing this and the most likly explanation was MS. I spoke to friends, family and collegues about this but any time I brought it up they would tell me about a family member of friend who had the same thing happen to them and it turned out to be a pinched nerve or something benighn. My family assured me that no one in our family had ever suffered from MS and my father almost laughed when I asked him the question.
Then there was the joy of the diagnossis or rather non-diagnosis. I didn't immediatly got to a nurologist i went to a wrist and hand specialist becuase my brain was fine (so I thought) and my hand was what was wrong. The wrist specialist sent me emidiatly to get an MRI and told me to get a family practitioner or Nuerologist to speak with. About a week went by and my MRI results were mailed to me- Through the use of 2 dictionaries, my pharmisist best friend, the internet and other resources I was able to dicifer the fact that my brain was taking on a swiss cheese appearence with "lesions with maximum vertical radi of up to 1.5 cm" (see i can even talk like them now)- So i made an appt with a nuerologist. For some reason he never really came out with it and said- 'i'm sorry but you have MS'- he used non-absolute words and side talk to discuss the fact that "from the evidence i have witnessed in your case and cases from the past" and "in my opinion"- Like if he somehow just got past the diagnosis and into the treatment I wouldn't be likly to fall off the White elephant he wouldn't acknoledge i was riding on.
A part of me died in that office. Not died in a violent way but in a slow rotting way like how most things die. I only say this becuase the next few weeks were a rollercoaster of the different psychological stages of grief. I slingshotted from deniel to depression to rage, even found myself getting into fist fights like I was back in highschool. Poor bastards had no idea the general rage and sense of injustice that powered me and never let me lose. Sigh* about all I can say now, just wanted to vent- thank of if you read this and didn't simply open up the forum, glance at how long this seemed and emidiatly click on the "back" button. I also appoligize for my spelling, I try to be an intellectual but my over-powering sense of justice also applies to Spelling and so I spell phoneticaly- Letters make certian sounds and they had no damn right to change thier sounds from one word to the next- damn dishonest letters-haha just trying to lighten the mood before signing off-