Trying not to get depressed
Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:10 pm
Sorry I keep posting just tell me if I should go find a different forum for answers.
I am really struggling to not let this get me down I feel like I only have one body and was a normal person (though i have struggled with thinking clearly for the past couple of years I had gotten used to it) and then this happened and I am I scared that I may never know what normal feels like again.
I told my stepmum everything that's happening and my dad hasn't bothered to call me once and even worse than that is probably laughing at me going oh no melissa has head problems but he doesn't get that this is really serious and I am scared.
I am scared of not being normal again, I am scared of getting worse, I am scared of dying, I am scared of loosing my ability to think or communicate at all and I am scared of burdening my husband and of not being able to care for my babies. I don't know why I haven't heard from the neurologist. I know that I should be fighting it and not caring about the diagnosis but its easier said than done and I just can't deal with being in such a messed up body without knowing whats wrong.
I am also scared about our future my husband and I manage a lodge together and are meant to progress onto a motel and then buy our own one and we wanted to have 4 or 5 children and I am afraid that my dreams might have to change. I hate all this uncertainty I feel like I am in limbo. I am not letting it stress me and I am trying to stay happy but I have a heavy feeling in my heart.
I am really struggling to not let this get me down I feel like I only have one body and was a normal person (though i have struggled with thinking clearly for the past couple of years I had gotten used to it) and then this happened and I am I scared that I may never know what normal feels like again.
I told my stepmum everything that's happening and my dad hasn't bothered to call me once and even worse than that is probably laughing at me going oh no melissa has head problems but he doesn't get that this is really serious and I am scared.
I am scared of not being normal again, I am scared of getting worse, I am scared of dying, I am scared of loosing my ability to think or communicate at all and I am scared of burdening my husband and of not being able to care for my babies. I don't know why I haven't heard from the neurologist. I know that I should be fighting it and not caring about the diagnosis but its easier said than done and I just can't deal with being in such a messed up body without knowing whats wrong.
I am also scared about our future my husband and I manage a lodge together and are meant to progress onto a motel and then buy our own one and we wanted to have 4 or 5 children and I am afraid that my dreams might have to change. I hate all this uncertainty I feel like I am in limbo. I am not letting it stress me and I am trying to stay happy but I have a heavy feeling in my heart.