This Is MS Multiple Sclerosis Knowledge & Support Community

I'm Brett, 37 and had RRMS for years now. I walk with a stick most every place I go for my own balance and safety. I look very young for my age, most say late twenties.

Yesterday I got so mad as I went to the Dollar General I passed some people in a car as I walked slowly to the door with my traditional weak right leg hobble. As I passed I clearly heard that word..."faker" My nervers just stopped.... The exact thing they said was "probably a faker"
I couldn't believe it, I paused for a second and just bolted inside the store and kinda wandered around like a shop lifter trying to get my wits back and calm down...I was so mad.,

I guess from looking young, holding a stick and walking as fast as a 90 year old drunk guy, it didn't add up with them. My legs are in shape looks wise, very toned as I exercise them daily...I am in great shape and body form, nothing looks "disabled" take my crutch away and let me stand still, you'd never know I have had MS for the last 20 years. Now get me walking and I'll fall if I don't have my stick.

This just pisses me off that some people can just assume anything they desire or think...it's just so wrong. Possibly I should slap on some full length braces so people can see I am disabled? Or how about pulling my pants down to show them the huge, oversized maxi pad I wear just in case I can't get my legs to propel me to the public toilet in time. or even smear their eyes with vaseline or motor oil and tell them that is what I see a lot of times..... or stick needles in their shoes and show them how yo usometimes don't know where your foot is going to land.

It sucks, bad...I mean how many people think like this of me when I am out and about?...please tell me I am not alone.... I now have a new goal...to make some flyers to put around town of how people with MS can be badly disabled like myself, but you can't see what they feel.

People need to be educated a lot more...I learned this the hard way.

I'm still so mad over this and I feel even more awkward going out now.

shh you'll get us all busted. we've got such a good scam going!

it's tough, but don't sweat the ignoramuses. it's unfortunate that there are enough fakers in the world to make the idea plausible to a casual observer. it's only the people who know you that matter. i feel really bad for anyone whose immediate caregivers and health care professionals think it's all in the patient's head.

Hi Brett. Welcome to TIMS.

sorry for the stuff you have to go thru. my partner is the same - most think she is drunk.

We get "the looks" every time we park in a handicap parking space. My husband is also in his 30's and was just diagnosed about a year ago. He does not use a cane but there are times when walking is just so painful. I want to post a big sign on the back of our car that says "hey just because he looks ok on the outside, he can barely stand any physical activity!"

I think what has broken my heart the most is when he came home in tears (definately not a normal thing) because his dad told him there wasnt anything wrong with him.

Surround yourself with people that love you the most!!

DougL wrote:Hi Brett. Welcome to TIMS.

sorry for the stuff you have to go thru. my partner is the same - most think she is drunk.

One of the reasons I started using a stick.... I noticed people not giving a hoot, because they see me being a lil tipsy on my feet as if drunk walking around the store. I thought if maybe I carried a stick they would then see "oh he has problems" I'm a lil safer now anyways...I never leave my stick at home these days so it all worked out.

Just what happened a few days ago just....just....works me up sooooo bad that I get mad just thinking of it. How can people be so damn ignorant? Christ I had a stick, I'm walkinmg like I have bricks on my feet...what more do they want me to show I am handi?

I really should of stopped and educated them. People need even more education about MS in my town and probably everywhere.

WalkingGuy wrote:Just what happened a few days ago just....just....works me up sooooo bad that I get mad just thinking of it. How can people be so damn ignorant? Christ I had a stick, I'm walkinmg like I have bricks on my feet...what more do they want me to show I am handi?

I really should of stopped and educated them. People need even more education about MS in my town and probably everywhere.

yes, next time, approach them and say something like "every night after i struggle to lift my legs into my bed, i pray that no one every gets this horrible disease again. tonight i will include you and your family in my prayers." that should drop a couple jaws.

i really think most people are decent and it is just a matter of education.

hi brett,
when i parked in a handicap spot at a supermarket (after midnight!), a man who had watched me park came up to me in the store and said, you're getting around fine, why don't you leave those spots for the people who need them?
i think ignorance is a massive epidemic in this country. doesn't seem like people wish to change that.
keep cool. let them spin their wheels. you know what you know, and you do not owe anyone an explanation.
peace, elyse

DougL wrote:

WalkingGuy wrote:Just what happened a few days ago just....just....works me up sooooo bad that I get mad just thinking of it. How can people be so damn ignorant? Christ I had a stick, I'm walkinmg like I have bricks on my feet...what more do they want me to show I am handi?

I really should of stopped and educated them. People need even more education about MS in my town and probably everywhere.

yes, next time, approach them and say something like "every night after i struggle to lift my legs into my bed, i pray that no one every gets this horrible disease again. tonight i will include you and your family in my prayers." that should drop a couple jaws.

i really think most people are decent and it is just a matter of education.

Think I'll keep it simple and say "you got Google? look up Multiple Scelorsis...have a nice day"

I agree most are just uneducated and decent, but to call me out as a faker, come on, they seemed so confident I was by the tone. I do forget to put my tag on the dash, and I can't remember if I did that day...but still. They really thought I wa swalking like that being a fake? what in the hell woul dbe my gain from doing that? free parking space up front? Fake a shuffle walk to get a handi parking space? seems pointless to me.

I think thes epaticular people were just....complete ,morons lol.

elyse_peace wrote:hi brett,
when i parked in a handicap spot at a supermarket (after midnight!), a man who had watched me park came up to me in the store and said, you're getting around fine, why don't you leave those spots for the people who need them?
i think ignorance is a massive epidemic in this country. doesn't seem like people wish to change that.
keep cool. let them spin their wheels. you know what you know, and you do not owe anyone an explanation.
peace, elyse

Yeah I brushed it off, but I can't help to think of how many have said, behind my back, "look at that asshole, he doesn't need to park there" They don't get what fatigue is....takes me al I have these days to go in the store, find a friggin wheeler, do my thing and make it back to the car. Well I'm not that bad, but I feel it worse than just two years ago. I mean I have resorted to using in house wheelers(wheelchairs) to save some energy these days. More so now because of the humid air.

So did yo utell the guy yo uhave MS? Did yo uexplain it? I'd get so tired of exxplaining it to people. I'd rather wear a shirt that says "I have Multiple Scelorsis, got a browser? look it up!

Hmmm an idea....

jmomma wrote:We get "the looks" every time we park in a handicap parking space. My husband is also in his 30's and was just diagnosed about a year ago. He does not use a cane but there are times when walking is just so painful. I want to post a big sign on the back of our car that says "hey just because he looks ok on the outside, he can barely stand any physical activity!"

I think what has broken my heart the most is when he came home in tears (definately not a normal thing) because his dad told him there wasnt anything wrong with him.

Surround yourself with people that love you the most!!

I can relate. At times I have had so much pain I was glad my car was very near. Sorry about his Dxx, but high hopes and new things are being done everyday. Just manage it and keep er rollin!!