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Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 11:09 am
by bob123
Let me tell you my story. First off, I am 19 years old. I have anxiety/ocd, not too severe, but it's there... Anyways late june/early july I started getting strange symptoms such as hot/cold sensations on the legs mostly like warm water dripping, ect. On July 12th I'd consider it the worst day of my life. Prior to that day I found out what MS is and the symptoms. The symptoms seemed so identical to mine, I had a mental breakdown, I just wanted to end it, I didn't want to go on anymore, I thought that I definitely had it. As the hot/cold sensations went on, i started to get muscle cramps and muscle twitching in my legs mainly, this started in mid- august. Then the muscle twitching wen't all over, literally it could happen anywhere, like the hands, tongue, neck, ect. It's not severe it's just a nuisance. As I got into September the hot/cold sensations weren't nearly as bad and almost gone, BUT the muscle cramps were worse.... I started to stray away from the fact that I could have MS... I felt a bit better... Also, another symptom I feel like I have trouble speaking at times. I'll be talking about one of the classes im taking and one time i said "Englis" class without the 'h' - Or ill mix up syllables or ill say "Twain" instead of "Train"-Like I'm slurring, stuff like that. I also get these brain farts where I forget what I'm talking about. All these symptoms i'm getting are exactly what people with ms get. When october hit I finally had my appointment with the neurologist, he sen't me for several mri's lumbar/spine/brain, - non- contrast... they all came out clear. I also had numerous blood tests, and an EMG, EEG, all came back normal except EEG showed slight carpal tunnel, ulnar neuropathy which isnt a big deal. I know my MRI came back normal but it was non- contrast and I hear of plenty of people who's lesions dont show up until later with MS. I'd also like to note that my symptoms now are a bit different than they were in july/august. The hot/cold sensations barely happen anymore. Right now what worries me is the trouble speaking and the cramped legs and now I feel a bit off balance. I constantly check my balance by walking heel to heel, sometimes I feel like I can't do it, but I do it anyway. I wen't on youtube today and heard people's stories with MS and how they got diagnosed. I saw this one vid of this woman explaining how she slurs like she's drunk at times, or how she feels like she ran 10 miles when she only walked a bit. That's exactly how I feel. I had a breakdown. I feel like it is so apparent that I have this disease now. I can't take it anymore, seriously. I don't want to live with this, I just wan't someone to tell me I don't have it, but theres no way of telling, that's what's so horrible. I need help so bad, I can't move on, People say anxiety, but why the hell would I just be relaxing one day and then start feeling trouble speaking? or getting strange prickling sensations? What should I do? I've looked up this disease so much, I don't know what to do anymore, I can't eat, this is the worst thanksgiving ever for me.

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:47 pm
by lyndacarol
Bob, as I responded to your initial post (http://www.thisisms.com/forum/general-d ... 20523.html), I say again "Take a deep breath" and begin to work with your physician.

Your symptoms are not pleasant, we understand only too well. This is the situation that life has given you – you CAN deal with this; you are intelligent, well-spoken, and capable of helping us search for answers. I urge you to take today off, concentrate on your family, meditate or pray, listen to music, try to count your blessings rather than focusing on this disease on this Thanksgiving Day, Get your mind on other things; after the holiday you can return to the problem at hand.

You have friends here.

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:23 pm
by jimmylegs
hi again, sorry to hear you've been having such a bad time :( were you able to get any of the serum nutrient tests we talked about earlier? magnesium? zinc? d3? if so, the results would be useful (ie specific results - not just 'normal')

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 4:22 am
by Pinkalicious
We have all been there; diagnosis limbo is not fun. But the worst thing that you can do is stress intensely about it. Personally, stress is the only trigger that I have for exacerbations or new symptoms. So as someone said... Calm down, take a deep breath and focus on the positive things in your life. You don't know what the diagnosis is right now. Yes, you have symptoms, but whether you can define it has very little impact on your situation at the moment. "Knowing" won't make your symptoms subside. They won't give you steroids unless you are having vision or mobility issues, so aside from taking care of yourself, loving yourself, relaxing, learning stress management techniques, getting some exercise and putting nourishing foods into your body (all things we should do whether we have a MS diagnosis or not!) there is not a whole lot else that you can do.

Yes, I may have MS but my life is still a good one, filled with many blessings and moments that I wouldn't want to miss. MS is only the end if you let it control and take over your life. Don't give your power away.

Jimmylegs has tons of helpful nutrition advice if you can get her the info, as well.

Check out the book "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. It will be OK.

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 1:12 pm
by bob123
Thanks for the reply's but should I believe my neurologist when he says it's just my anxiety? And also what are the chances of me having it when my MRI's came back normal/ lumbar spine/cervical spine/brain - non contrast? Also all bloodwork came back normal too like ANA...

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 2:53 pm
by lyndacarol
Bob, as a general rule, I would believe the expert. BUT, my personal experience would indicate that the experts are not always correct: all my neurological tests, including THREE MRIs,came back "normal" in the first couple years. My first neurologist told me, "I do not know what you have, but it is DEFINITELY NOT MS." He was wrong! Even the doctors at the Mayo Clinic did not identify my MS! With time, progression of symptoms, and the right neurologist (#4), I received the diagnosis of MS.

You know yourself and your symptoms best. The symptoms you describe seem very concrete – hot/cold sensations, speech difficulties, muscle cramps, balance problems – how can anxiety be responsible for all of these? If these are NEW to you, I would say something is going on to cause them now – something PHYSIOLOGICAL. However, as Pinkalicious said, having a label for all your symptoms will have no impact on your situation at the moment – "'Knowing' won't make your symptoms subside."

If your physicians cannot accept the possibility of a physiological problem, I think you need to find a physician who can.

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:46 pm
by Anonymoose
You are so young to be facing this. As an old 40 something lady who has been through a lot of rough times that threatened to break me, I can tell you that everything will be okay. It always winds up that way in the end...not life as expected but still okay and sometimes even really good. I'm not sure you can embrace that philosophy without experience but there it is anyway.

I think some of your symptoms are likely neurological. I think some may be related to stress, exhaustion and anxiety. You can't do anything about the fact that diagnosis takes time. What you can do to relieve some of your anxiety and improve your health and prognosis is take control of what you can control. Jimmy legs is a nutrient guru. Read her posts and follow her advice on nutrition. Eliminate unhealthy habits and adopt new healthy habits. If you are experiencing sleep issues, melatonin may help. Evening primrose is good for anxiety.

Journal your symptoms so you can share details and patterns with your doctors. I had many of your symptoms on and off starting probably 15-20 years before MS caused any issues for me. Today, I'm really not that limited...my handwriting is horrid and I can't hand quilt anymore. Not so bad, eh? I think I might be getting some of that back though. There is hope even if you do wind up with an ms diagnosis.

Live for each day and leave the future where it belongs. No regrets!

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:09 pm
by lyndacarol
Anonymoose wrote:You are so young to be facing this. As an old 40 something lady who has been through a lot of rough times that threatened to break me, I can tell you that everything will be okay. It always winds up that way in the end...not life as expected but still okay and sometimes even really good. I'm not sure you can embrace that philosophy without experience but there it is anyway.

I think some of your symptoms are likely neurological. I think some may be related to stress, exhaustion and anxiety. You can't do anything about the fact that diagnosis takes time. What you can do to relieve some of your anxiety and improve your health and prognosis is take control of what you can control. Jimmy legs is a nutrient guru. Read her posts and follow her advice on nutrition. Eliminate unhealthy habits and adopt new healthy habits. If you are experiencing sleep issues, melatonin may help. Evening primrose is good for anxiety.

Journal your symptoms so you can share details and patterns with your doctors. I had many of your symptoms on and off starting probably 15-20 years before MS caused any issues for me. Today, I'm really not that limited...my handwriting is horrid and I can't hand quilt anymore. Not so bad, eh? I think I might be getting some of that back though. There is hope even if you do wind up with an ms diagnosis.

Live for each day and leave the future where it belongs. No regrets!
Such wise words you had for Bob! Especially on this Thanksgiving weekend, I am grateful for your contributions to ThisIsMS – first your research on modified citrus pectin and now these words which encourage all of us here.

Re: Help me, please. I can't take it anymore.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:24 pm
by jimmylegs
stress and anxiety can be signs of nutrient imbalance in themselves, and the hormone changes can result in further nutrient depletion - it's a downward spiral. magnesium is a big one for stress relief. normal range = 0.70-1.10 mmol/L. but research suggests optimal levels are up around 0.90-0.95 mmol/L. i agree 100% w/ anon re taking control of what you can!!! good advice for anyone :)