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I was on Mat leave from an excellent job. Great boss, state pension, loved my colleagues, own office.....but a long commute from home. 8 month old son, and before I even got pregnant was hanging onto my job by the skin of my teeth. I had no life to speak of, just work, eat, sleep. I had a fulltime creche place booked for my son for Jan but I started examing how I felt about fulltime work.

I thought about asking for a career break but that just felt like delaying the decision. Or job-share - but it would still exhaust me because of the commute. I realise now, if I'm honest with myself, that I can only really work part-time, because of MS fatigue. I have fought this decision for years, pretending I didn't have MS, pretending I could keep going. But I can't. My husband said that by Wed of a fulltime working week I'd take to bed by 8pm just to make it through the next day and I'd be in so much pain that even a door banging would go through my head. I'd lie in bed for weekends to keep going.

I found having a new-born baby less ardous than my daily commute, so that's when I realised that I needed to change this situation.

I am going to my GP next week to ask him to sign me onto disability and I will look for a 1 or 2 day job. I visited my boss yesterday and quit. I felt sad, but also like I am making the right decision. So conflicted about it all.

WW,

Well at least you're moving in a defined direction. That's what it seems to take for me anyway. How can that not be a major league conflicting decision? Even for someone w/out MS, leaving a good job they like is difficult. So good luck to you. But most of all I hope you soon feel unstuck and liberated by the decision you've made. There's no way you won't second guess for a while, but I hope (and imagine it will) it all works out the best for YOU.

Lew

WW--I was a stay-at-home mom for my son (thankfully my husband's salary made this possible--I know this is not the case for everyone). I have never regretted the decision, especially since developing MS later on. We do not know what the future will bring; we can only make the best choice with our present knowledge. I know our son is the person he is today partly because I could be with him--share life with him, go to the park, be active in his school life, enjoy him (time passes too quickly!).

You have this job of raising your son now, WW; I know you will pour your energy into it. Good luck. There will be tough days, but I know you are up to it.

WW

Your work week sounds much like mine has been for the last year. I too come home and just sit in a chair or go to bed and my husband had to make me get up so I could go to work again and again. On Saturdays, I just could not even move at all.

I was wondering every day how much longer I could get up, make that drive and walk up and down 2 flights of stairs - no elevator. I was finding it hard at the each day to get up those stairs to go home.

My new move to work at home is a Godsend. And your decision to stay home with your son will be too.

You are in my prayers!

CF

WW-
This is a difficult decision for women all over the world, w/ or w/out MS. Most aren't able to stay home, due to financial situations. I chose to stay at home and was conflicted at first (missed friends, felt out of my career) but now I've got a well-adjusted teenager who talks to me and his Dad, and amazing memories of being with him at the park, playing on the floor, learning to read, singing songs and laughing. I'm back at my career, and yeah, the money would have been nice...but we got by just fine. We lived more simply. And that wasn't a bad thing.
It's cliche, but they're only young once, and if this is good for your health and MS, as well as his development, than it's a win-win.
best,
AC

WW

Brave decision but it sounds like you relaly thought out what's best for you and your family. Your son is very lucky that he will have his mum around so much. I hope things work out well and you can find a suitable part time job.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and wisdom.

I have been a bit low in spirit about giving up work, but it's probably this ear-infection that just won't go for me dragging me down too...

I realise that I have made the right decision, that my son and I can share more time together than a lot of parents do today and that is really a fabulous thing. He is the best thing that ever happened me, every day with him is a joy (even the difficult days when I'm shattered) and at least now I won't be pushing myself beyond my limits to work fulltime.
My husband and I are happier too - I now retain some sense of humour past Tuesdays