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YOUR OPINION OR AM I OVER REACTING

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:36 pm
by jam
I need your opinion pse. Nothing is clear with ms.

I invited two people around yesterday because they had been harping to get here. I was goind through an exasberation which I don't normally get being progressive. Anyway the women proceeds to roam through rooms of may house saying what do you have new; and then putting her hands on may walls. I ask her not to do it because it marks the paint and I have just had the walls recently painted, she calls me obsessive ( which I guess I am especially now things are a lot more trouble for me) she then proceeds to wind me up by going to put her whole hand on the wall and I stamp my food and she says "well there is not too much wrong with you, is there? I don't want her back in my home given that I think she is just inconsiderate and inappropriate. I would welcome your comments and to see if you think I am overreacting!


Jam

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:33 pm
by whyRwehere
Of course you aren't over reacting...it's your home, don't let good manners allow people to be bullies.

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:51 pm
by me_x_5
Whoa that lady, sounds like a nut job!! Sorry you had to go through that !!

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:26 pm
by Just_Me
That woman is rude and childish and has NO manners. You have every right to expect people to respect your wishes in your place!

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:30 pm
by CRHInv
Bless your heart. I am so sorry you went through that. I wanted to comment because a friend of mine had a really similiar experience many years ago. I think about it now and then, just because it doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think you are over reacting. I think there must be some crazy reason that some people:
a. don't even have basic manners
b. don't notice the social cues that you are sending that this is not okay behavior
c. and then even insult you in your own home!
What is up? Be strong. Plant your feet and refuse to be treated like that again. There is no reason you would expect this the first time, but shame on you if you let them do it to you again. Really, there are just way too many nice people out there to waste time on the ones who act so ugly.

AM I OVER REACTING?

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:00 pm
by jam
Thanks for the response guys. I forgot to say she let the alarms off on my son's car just trying to get in it! I did not feel like I was, I will try to let it go now and move on as you said.

Thanks a lot for responding.


Jam

Re: YOUR OPINION OR AM I OVER REACTING

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:17 pm
by JenniferF
jam wrote: I ask her not to do it because it marks the paint . . . she then proceeds to wind me up by going to put her whole hand on the wall

Dittoing the others. This is a major warning sign.

Normal people: Do dumb stuff because they don't realize it bothers you, have different ideas about what is appropriate, etc.

Normal-but-playful people: Do something dumb for above reasons. When you ask them to stop, they stop the behavior, but may tease you about it *verbally* in an affectionate way. (And if you show signs of distress at their teasing, they stop that.) If they should accidentally (habit, etc.) repeat the behavior, when they catch themselves they apologize and immediately stop.

Wacky, self-centered people: Bother people for fun. Anyone who takes pleasure in making you unhappy is a bad person to have around. If confronted they will often go on the offensive and accuse you of "not being able to take a joke" or "being too uptight". This is absolute nonsense. Such a person does not, ever, for any reason, need to be invited into your home. And you should avoid that person's company whenever you have the choice. [If the person is a relative, co-worker, etc., you will have to politely get along at wedding and funerals, meetings, etc.]

Good luck. You aren't crazy.

Jen.

Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:20 am
by MrsGeorge
I don't think it is an over-reaction. I am quite OCD and like things just so. There are a few things that I am very particular about. My friends respect that and don't deliberately upset me about it.

It's one thing for someone like your partner to have a joke with you (as my husband sometimes does) and another for someone to totally disrespect you.

Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:28 am
by whyRwehere
Absolutely, Jen, I hate it when people try to justify their behaviour by saying that the other person/people don't have a sense of humour. Haven't I heard that too often lately?
By the way, I appreciate a GOOD joke, just not stupidity.