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The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.

I said to her, “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.”

“Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.

“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some asshole using my stuff.”

She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another asshole?”

Thanks. I forwarded it to a couple of my friends. One came back with the following...


Man says to wife, "Honey what do you want for our anniversary next week?"

She says, "A divorce."

He says, "I was thinking of something less expensive."