Finally an answer to my symptoms. Wasn't expecting MS
Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:25 pm
I was just diagnosed, after more than a year of symptoms. Doctors, therapists, all looking at the individual symptoms, and all of us ignoring the ones that didn't make sense in the picture. Now, after having a breakdown from the stress of wondering how long I would still have my job. I needed to do my job! The tests just didn't point out what it was. And the fear broke me. Several months, more therapy, a psychiatrist and more tests, I know. And yet I feel I have no answer to the future, nothing concrete to battle and win. I have had ongoing symptoms of numbness, pain, memory and vision problems, and they just seem to keep adding on one by one. So, I'm wondering if I hear of remissions lasting from a day to several months, what is it that I have had no remission since this started? And how long has this really been going on? Symptoms I may have ignored for how many years because they seemed minor and fleeting. Sometimes scary symptoms that I was grateful went away. And I told no one. Until a year ago. So, related? who knows. I am scared out of my mind. I have been to the height of every emotion this week. Happy to finally have an answer. And a mess from thinking I have to face the most helpless and humiliating times to come, that I have said over and over again I couldn't face. I have to ask my husband if he can do this. I am 51 years old. We've been married just 4 years, and not easy ones. Blended family and baggage to boot. I hate the unknown, I try to hide that as a woman, I have a lot of hair where it shouldn't be. I asked God to never put me in a wheelchair because I would fight it like crazy. I have an incredible time asking for help. I know that no one knows when, but at my age, I've already thought about it. So, what happens at the end? Alone in a nursing home? Stressed out spouses, family? Bills you cant pay? Thank God I already have life ins. Does anyone just wake up one day not able to move? Do you get time to tell someone you can't work tomorrow. man, my job. Is it gradual or does it just leap out at you. I hate surprises too. I know this is incredibly long. I just realized the ad on the page is about creating a will with legalzoom. nice. I don't know how to face this. I'm glad I have the chance to communicate with others. thank you