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Finally an answer to my symptoms. Wasn't expecting MS

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:25 pm
by Sensible
I was just diagnosed, after more than a year of symptoms. Doctors, therapists, all looking at the individual symptoms, and all of us ignoring the ones that didn't make sense in the picture. Now, after having a breakdown from the stress of wondering how long I would still have my job. I needed to do my job! The tests just didn't point out what it was. And the fear broke me. Several months, more therapy, a psychiatrist and more tests, I know. And yet I feel I have no answer to the future, nothing concrete to battle and win. I have had ongoing symptoms of numbness, pain, memory and vision problems, and they just seem to keep adding on one by one. So, I'm wondering if I hear of remissions lasting from a day to several months, what is it that I have had no remission since this started? And how long has this really been going on? Symptoms I may have ignored for how many years because they seemed minor and fleeting. Sometimes scary symptoms that I was grateful went away. And I told no one. Until a year ago. So, related? who knows. I am scared out of my mind. I have been to the height of every emotion this week. Happy to finally have an answer. And a mess from thinking I have to face the most helpless and humiliating times to come, that I have said over and over again I couldn't face. I have to ask my husband if he can do this. I am 51 years old. We've been married just 4 years, and not easy ones. Blended family and baggage to boot. I hate the unknown, I try to hide that as a woman, I have a lot of hair where it shouldn't be. I asked God to never put me in a wheelchair because I would fight it like crazy. I have an incredible time asking for help. I know that no one knows when, but at my age, I've already thought about it. So, what happens at the end? Alone in a nursing home? Stressed out spouses, family? Bills you cant pay? Thank God I already have life ins. Does anyone just wake up one day not able to move? Do you get time to tell someone you can't work tomorrow. man, my job. Is it gradual or does it just leap out at you. I hate surprises too. I know this is incredibly long. I just realized the ad on the page is about creating a will with legalzoom. nice. I don't know how to face this. I'm glad I have the chance to communicate with others. thank you

Re: Finally an answer to my symptoms. Wasn't expecting MS

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:20 pm
by NHE
Hi Sensible,
Welcome to ThisIsMS. I believe that you have found a supportive community.

I don't know if anyone can tell you what your progression will be.


NHE

Re: Finally an answer to my symptoms. Wasn't expecting MS

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 8:30 am
by lyndacarol
Welcome to ThisIsMS, Sensible.

I am glad that you have found us. We don't have all the answers, but we will listen to your questions and try to help. Do not hesitate to express yourself here; it helps all of us simply to vent at times. One or more of us can relate exactly to your situation - here at ThisIsMS, we have women, 51-year-olds, blended families; we are you, you are us, you are not alone – we share your feelings, pain, and fears; it is normal to be "scared out of my mind." We are here for you; ask any questions, we will share our experiences and opinions. No one here knows what the future holds, but we can face it together. Thank goodness for today's technology that allows us to communicate with each other!

Re: Finally an answer to my symptoms. Wasn't expecting MS

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:41 am
by Loriyas
Sensible, take a deep breath and try to calm your mind. It is all very overwhelming at the beginning and it is best if you just take a step back for a minute to re-group. Then in time you can start to research and learn all you can. The more you know the less fearful you will be. You will be in control.

Regarding a wheelchair: who said you would even need one?! The course of MS is so different for every person. You may find you will never go down that path. That is why I say to make yourself relax (I know, easier said than done!) and you will be better able to focus.

Best of luck! We are all here when you need us!

Lori