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Caregiver for 12+ years

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 6:37 am
by bsymom
My name is Laura. I've been a caregiver for my husband James for over 12 years. His first onset was November 2001 - ON. We had a 4 1/2 month old son, his first newborn (and only), my fourth. It took 15 months for an official DX. The last 3 years MS has taken its toll physically. As we wait and hope for SSDI, we're trying not to be evicted and pay the bills. At 40 and being at stay-at-home Mom for 20 years, the only job I could find was a part-time minimum wage job, which, as anyone can imagine, doesn't pay the bills. It also took me away from home, where I am very much needed. I have an online business, which until this past week was doing very well. Not enough to pay the bills yet, but it was growing. We even borrowed a few hundred dollars to give it a boost. More products means more sales. Of course as soon as I put the money into the business, it slowed to near nothing. I've been told June is a slow month for sales. I'm hoping that's true. I would hate to think we could have used that money for rent or bills! Being home is the best place for me to be for my family. With the cognitive issues and the fact my husband doesn't like to admit all of the issues he has, I need to be there for every doctor visit. Also, he shouldn't be driving anywhere. His reflexes are impaired, and though he walks with a cane, he doesn't like to admit he shouldn't be driving.

I think that's the end of my vent... for now.

Re: Caregiver for 12+ years

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 7:41 am
by lyndacarol
bsymom wrote:My name is Laura. I've been a caregiver for my husband James for over 12 years. His first onset was November 2001 - ON. We had a 4 1/2 month old son, his first newborn (and only), my fourth. It took 15 months for an official DX. The last 3 years MS has taken its toll physically. As we wait and hope for SSDI, we're trying not to be evicted and pay the bills. At 40 and being at stay-at-home Mom for 20 years, the only job I could find was a part-time minimum wage job, which, as anyone can imagine, doesn't pay the bills. It also took me away from home, where I am very much needed. I have an online business, which until this past week was doing very well. Not enough to pay the bills yet, but it was growing. We even borrowed a few hundred dollars to give it a boost. More products means more sales. Of course as soon as I put the money into the business, it slowed to near nothing. I've been told June is a slow month for sales. I'm hoping that's true. I would hate to think we could have used that money for rent or bills! Being home is the best place for me to be for my family. With the cognitive issues and the fact my husband doesn't like to admit all of the issues he has, I need to be there for every doctor visit. Also, he shouldn't be driving anywhere. His reflexes are impaired, and though he walks with a cane, he doesn't like to admit he shouldn't be driving.

I think that's the end of my vent... for now.
Welcome to ThisIsMS, Laura (bsymom).

We are here to share our experiences, to offer our opinions, and just to listen, if that is all you need. Undoubtedly, you have had a difficult 12 years. In fact, all 20 years as a stay-at-home mom was not an easy time! I think you must be a strong, capable person; we have each faced our own, unique set of hardships – sometimes it helps to share. We are glad you found us; in general, we are good listeners. Feel free to vent – sooner or later we have all done it.