50% Anger, 50% Denial
Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:16 am
I'm a 41 year old female with a wonderfully supportive husband and teenage son. I was diagnosed in Jan of this year after being blindsided (pun intended) by ON. Yeah, I'd heard of MS (it was the one I always got mixed up with MD) but I didn't know the first thing about it.
In February (when I could finally read a paragraph in under 2 minutes), I found this forum and I thought "no, no, I'm not one of THOSE people". My neuro sent me to a psychologist for a cognitive baseline.....cognitive baseline??? what the hell??? I had to draw pictures, I couldn't draw before MS. Oh, and the math section. She asked what 5x13 is, I said "I don't know", she said "take a few seconds and think about it", I said "I still don't know". Maybe everyone else in the world would know that instantly but for anything beyond the basic x table, i require pen and paper (possibly a calculator). She made me feel like I'd already lost most of my cognitive abilities, she also sensed hostility but felt it was due to anxiety. well duh!
Then there are my "angry" nights, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I find myself tense and bitchy just before shot time.
I do believe I'll accept things eventually and settle down.I know I should be thankful that it isn't much worse, I know I'm acting like a child throwing a tantrum, but knowing that doesn't make me any less angry.
Thank you for providing a place to vent.
In February (when I could finally read a paragraph in under 2 minutes), I found this forum and I thought "no, no, I'm not one of THOSE people". My neuro sent me to a psychologist for a cognitive baseline.....cognitive baseline??? what the hell??? I had to draw pictures, I couldn't draw before MS. Oh, and the math section. She asked what 5x13 is, I said "I don't know", she said "take a few seconds and think about it", I said "I still don't know". Maybe everyone else in the world would know that instantly but for anything beyond the basic x table, i require pen and paper (possibly a calculator). She made me feel like I'd already lost most of my cognitive abilities, she also sensed hostility but felt it was due to anxiety. well duh!
Then there are my "angry" nights, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I find myself tense and bitchy just before shot time.
I do believe I'll accept things eventually and settle down.I know I should be thankful that it isn't much worse, I know I'm acting like a child throwing a tantrum, but knowing that doesn't make me any less angry.
Thank you for providing a place to vent.