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to dream or not to dream
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:26 pm
by Nola
For so long I have thought, is it worth having dreams that you know will never happen? Is an unrealistic dream better than dreamless sleep? But truthfully it really is just painful after so so so long and everything that a person can lose to keep on pretending that anything will ever be any different. We all know how this stuff actually ends. So when a person is alone and starved for touch and friendship and hope and trust and just would have really loved to share life, beautiful life, with a true partner, but obviously that's not going to happen, especially as things just get worse and worse, well, what can i say. ms has taken my body, my career, my community, my family, my dreams. at this point i don't know why i am even bothering to write this except maybe it feels good not to have to pretend for a few minutes. i feel so trapped. i have nowhere left to go. anyway i've already written what i really had to say elsewhere.
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:54 pm
by robbie
your not alone Nola i know it means nothing for me to say that but i have the same thoughts and i'm not sure what to say
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 5:52 am
by LokeRundt
I dream of a free world, even though I realize it shall most likely not occur within my lifetime (though I do draw some minor hopes/inspiration from the likes of Ray Kurzweil and Kevin Carson)
"Dream without attachment", is what has worked for me.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:19 am
by maynaka
Nola,
Some many of us can relate to your feelings of loss. It's difficult to grasp all that is gone. Things that we once took for granted and then fought so hard to keep...
Somebody on this site recently said they wanted to get up in the morning and be able to do anything they wanted. It brought tears to my eyes because that simple statement summed up a simple desire that we now all strive to achieve. It was a life we all had.
My mind and emotions are in constant conflict. If we give up dreaming and hoping, then what?
Please know, so many of us are where you are, you are not alone.
M
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 4:30 am
by Nola
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond. You don't even know me but you took time to write. I think being alone is too much. No, not specifically alone, which can be a choice, but so isolated, so lonely, which is not a choice. i would not wish this on anyone.