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bad phase

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:48 pm
by carolew
I am going through a bad phase these past weeks.. I feel down and my walking is the pits.. can't get that left foot off the ground. I trip everywhere. I HATE it... I am meeting someone new tomorrow and have all the apprehension in the world. I am always showing people that I am doing just fine but I am not... I don"'t want to appear weak and disabled but I am. I hate to say it.....I HATE it. I am in a negative wave right now. Just need to vent....

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:57 pm
by jimmylegs
i hear you carole, try to tough it out :( not fun times. i'm having a shitty couple weeks too. things'll get better soon!

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:21 pm
by cheerleader
Sorry you amazing ladies are having a rough go of it...it's OK to be honest with feeling crappy. And to tell people. Last year, after my brother died and Jeff was diagnosed, I started answering honestly to people who asked me "how are you?" "Lousy"...I'd reply, "but hopefully it will pass." It's really hard to admit when you're hurting, but being honest about it, even with people who do not really know you, breaks down the walls between us.
wishing for better days ahead,
AC

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:08 pm
by carolew
hang in there Jimmylegs.. thanks cl,I will make it but , man, it's harder and harder...

You are not alone; many here understand

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 6:58 pm
by lyndacarol
carolew--You are not alone; though we may not be able to help your situation, we want to make it better for you. We understand better than 'most others can. We understand the need to vent our burden and feelings occasionally--we have all been there.

We will gladly listen and offer our support. You have friends here who care! And we all agree--WE HATE THIS AWFUL DISEASE!!!

We do not pray to get through this day by day, or even hour by hour--we pray to get through minute by minute!

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 6:52 am
by Loobie
Carole,

I with you not only in spirit, but also in body. My left leg/foot is giving me hell right now. I know what you mean about being apprehensive about seeing new people. I was just assigned to be a program manager to a new customer. When we got to their plant, I looked like I wasn't going to make it up the stairs. It sucked. It zaps your confidence in a big way. But upon further reflection, once we got into the conf. room, I was the only one still aware of it. I've found since my MS has become visible that I am usually a bigger part of 'the problem' than those I'm dealing with. They think I'm just physically slowed down, and to get down to brass tacks, except when there's brain fog, they're right. We just have more challenges, but it does really suck when you really don't want them to be there, but there they are. I hate it too.

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:50 am
by carolew
thanks LC and Loobie... it helps to know you are all there...
every day is a surprise and not a good one usually... this is a period where i don't seem to have as much confidence in the future and I am asking myself how much more I should tolerate before I decrease my working hours. I have had a few falls and broke a stand in my bedroom yesterday. Sure, it was funny afterward but if this happens at work,,, not so funny...
:roll: will see what next week holds for me... take care all.. and thanks again for the support...