Oh what a week I'm having!
Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:41 am
OK, most of the detail is going on my blog post later. I have a pretty cool story to tell that has surprised me in a big and good way. As you all know I've been doing "pretty well" here as of late. Finally have had enough accumulation of little things that have resulted in me having to admit that it's changed for the better.
So yesterday I got my hardest test to date and was sure I was going to backslide. Monday night was 2 weeks out from me quitting the weed. Lots of people have always said "there are no symptoms to MJ withdrawal". That was in the 70's and 80's when you could smoke a whole joint and still function. Even the junk stuff today would have been considered "the bomb". So I've been having some pretty good symptoms after smoking that stuff EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR 15 YEARS. Not the least of which has been mild anxiety (expected, so blown off) and insomnia. Well monday night I fell asleep at 3:00am and woke up at 4:30am, and this is after the last two weeks not getting much more than that.
So I had this absolutely can't miss work day as one of my dies was being run off for approval. Which meant I had to be on my feet a great deal of the day, walk back and forth to the press it was in (about 200 yards to my office), and generally operate at a major high stress level with customers present and feedback needing to be given; picture a chicken with it's head lopped off. By the end of the day my ass was dragging. My voice was weak, my throat was sore and my knees started to hurt pretty good. You guys know that's one of my leg problems that know me. Well I did manage to get the job done, but felt like a pile of shit at day's end. So my MS brain is thinking "wow you did that, but the next couple of days are going to be absolutely horrible". I even told my boss I probably wouldn't be in.
Guess what? Today is my best day I've had since the surgery and well before it obviously. It's unbelievable. I am not dizzy, my eyes are clear, my feet don't hurt, my legs don't hurt, my knees don't hurt, my head doesn't hurt, I'm thinking really clearly, blah, blah, blah. It's magnanomous. About 5 months ago, not only wouldn't I have not been able to do even 1/8 of what I did on 1.5 hours of sleep, but after waking this morning, I feel freakin' great. You guys know how cautious I am to post good news so you know this isn't me just having a good moment. This is all stuff I would have been incapable of doing a very short time ago. If this keeps up, I swear I will be jogging again soon. Can you freakin' imagine that? I can't even believe I'm saying it. I feel so balanced between my two legs and can stand firmly on both feet, it's just amazing.
Just getting that little sleep a few months ago (on top of not sleeping well preceding that day) would have definitely trashed me just sitting in front of my computer at work, if I even came in at all. I'd have been awash in vertigo, ON and brain fog; let alone all the balance and coordination issues and spasms upon getting up from my chair. I could go on and on about what this feels like. I keep thinking "no way this is real". If I was doing any better today I'd be twins.
So yesterday I got my hardest test to date and was sure I was going to backslide. Monday night was 2 weeks out from me quitting the weed. Lots of people have always said "there are no symptoms to MJ withdrawal". That was in the 70's and 80's when you could smoke a whole joint and still function. Even the junk stuff today would have been considered "the bomb". So I've been having some pretty good symptoms after smoking that stuff EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR 15 YEARS. Not the least of which has been mild anxiety (expected, so blown off) and insomnia. Well monday night I fell asleep at 3:00am and woke up at 4:30am, and this is after the last two weeks not getting much more than that.
So I had this absolutely can't miss work day as one of my dies was being run off for approval. Which meant I had to be on my feet a great deal of the day, walk back and forth to the press it was in (about 200 yards to my office), and generally operate at a major high stress level with customers present and feedback needing to be given; picture a chicken with it's head lopped off. By the end of the day my ass was dragging. My voice was weak, my throat was sore and my knees started to hurt pretty good. You guys know that's one of my leg problems that know me. Well I did manage to get the job done, but felt like a pile of shit at day's end. So my MS brain is thinking "wow you did that, but the next couple of days are going to be absolutely horrible". I even told my boss I probably wouldn't be in.
Guess what? Today is my best day I've had since the surgery and well before it obviously. It's unbelievable. I am not dizzy, my eyes are clear, my feet don't hurt, my legs don't hurt, my knees don't hurt, my head doesn't hurt, I'm thinking really clearly, blah, blah, blah. It's magnanomous. About 5 months ago, not only wouldn't I have not been able to do even 1/8 of what I did on 1.5 hours of sleep, but after waking this morning, I feel freakin' great. You guys know how cautious I am to post good news so you know this isn't me just having a good moment. This is all stuff I would have been incapable of doing a very short time ago. If this keeps up, I swear I will be jogging again soon. Can you freakin' imagine that? I can't even believe I'm saying it. I feel so balanced between my two legs and can stand firmly on both feet, it's just amazing.
Just getting that little sleep a few months ago (on top of not sleeping well preceding that day) would have definitely trashed me just sitting in front of my computer at work, if I even came in at all. I'd have been awash in vertigo, ON and brain fog; let alone all the balance and coordination issues and spasms upon getting up from my chair. I could go on and on about what this feels like. I keep thinking "no way this is real". If I was doing any better today I'd be twins.
. That is when I know this really has done the deed. When family and work and life are in the foreground and MS is in the background. That will be an incredible feeling when that day comes (fingers crossed)