Not sure where to start, but feeling down.
Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:15 pm
Hi everyone, I am sitting here now at my computer feeling nervous, sad, confused, yet certain. I have just gotten back from seeing a neurologist for some symptoms...
He has ordered an MRI, scheduled Tuesday morning.
My biggest fear isn't that I have MS, but that nothing is found. I fear being called a faker.
Starting several years ago, I had bouts of fatigue, where I just couldn't seem to do anything. Who knows, maybe there is some depression involved, but I never saw a doctor, and it mysteriously would go away.
I have also had several very weird things happen to me over this period of time; my big toes went numb, which I attributed to ill fitting Army boots. A few months after that I noticed that my forehead had lost sensation as well, and at the same time my nose became oversensitive; very itchy, almost maddeningly so. I figured it had to do with, of all things, maybe breaking my nose at birth or something. (it's funny how stupid this sounds now, but I was just looking for answers.)
Oh, and I completely MELT in the HEAT.
Throw in several bladder infections, and bladder-almost-infections, (diagnosed as interstitial cystitis,) and I just thought I was one weird girl.
My left eye has always given me problems; ever since I was a teenager, I would go blind in my left eye for a few minutes, then it would clear up. It started as once or twice a year, then every few months, then monthly, now it's several times a month.
Then one day, I suddenly lost some hearing in my left ear. Not much hearing loss, but enough to notice a difference. A visit to the ER complete with CT scan showed nothing, and I gave up quickly because I thought I had been shot down. It cleared up in few weeks and I pretty much had forgotten about it and just added it to my pile of weird transient symptoms.
I moved on, got married, and had two kids. Both pregnancies had some really strange complications. I had pelvic instability with my first. It was horrible and terribly painful to where I was a crying heap on the floor, and my lovely husband picked me up and carried me to where I needed to go. With my second pregnancy I had placenta previa, AND pre-eclampsia. I also had a terrible time with heartburn and palpitations. I ended up having to be induced a full month early because my bp was through the roof. (baby's ok btw, he's ten months now and walking)
Now I'm dealing with the old fatigue and numbness in my fingers and hands. I feel like a sticker is stuck to the bottom of my foot, and left hand. My left leg is tired and twitchy. In fact, I have twitches all over my body. Sometimes it feels like I can barely lift my arm in order to drive. My lips go numb some days, and the blindness in my left eye has a new companion; just this last month, the left side of my face also goes numb, and that will last all day.
I have had tinnitus as long as I can remember, only now it is intrusive. I can hear it over conversations now.
I sound like a moron, mixing up words in my sentences (I'll say something like, "Let's medicine put on you", instead of "Let's put medicine on you,") saying the wrong word (today I called a real estate agent a "house person,") stuttering like a Stanley, or just saying, "....uhhhhh".
Typing is also poor on some days. I'll do things like add letters, (not typos) spelling "c" words with "k", (I'm a grammar Nazi, so this is particularly frustrating!)
When I finally saw a neuro, he tested my reflexes and he said they were a "bit brisk". (I wish I had saw him a few days earlier, my whole right leg would jump up and down...now I realize it was clonus, but I didn't think it was significant then, and like an idiot, failed to mention this to the Dr.)
I know among other things, he's considering an MS as a possibility. (he also ordered a lupus test, but I don't feel like it's lupus)
One of my questions is it seems that EVERY DAY I feel a bit different. Is that consistent with MS? Some days are better, some are worse. I thought that MS takes longer to deviate. Some symptoms last only minutes, some a day, some for weeks, months, years...
For those of you who have MS, my condolences, and does this seem like MS, or something else to you?
(EDIT: I forgot to mention that sometimes I can't pee...but luckily I have weak pelvic floor muscles anyway and I was able to urinate after pushing it out like a bm. TMI?)
He has ordered an MRI, scheduled Tuesday morning.
My biggest fear isn't that I have MS, but that nothing is found. I fear being called a faker.
Starting several years ago, I had bouts of fatigue, where I just couldn't seem to do anything. Who knows, maybe there is some depression involved, but I never saw a doctor, and it mysteriously would go away.
I have also had several very weird things happen to me over this period of time; my big toes went numb, which I attributed to ill fitting Army boots. A few months after that I noticed that my forehead had lost sensation as well, and at the same time my nose became oversensitive; very itchy, almost maddeningly so. I figured it had to do with, of all things, maybe breaking my nose at birth or something. (it's funny how stupid this sounds now, but I was just looking for answers.)
Oh, and I completely MELT in the HEAT.
Throw in several bladder infections, and bladder-almost-infections, (diagnosed as interstitial cystitis,) and I just thought I was one weird girl.
My left eye has always given me problems; ever since I was a teenager, I would go blind in my left eye for a few minutes, then it would clear up. It started as once or twice a year, then every few months, then monthly, now it's several times a month.
Then one day, I suddenly lost some hearing in my left ear. Not much hearing loss, but enough to notice a difference. A visit to the ER complete with CT scan showed nothing, and I gave up quickly because I thought I had been shot down. It cleared up in few weeks and I pretty much had forgotten about it and just added it to my pile of weird transient symptoms.
I moved on, got married, and had two kids. Both pregnancies had some really strange complications. I had pelvic instability with my first. It was horrible and terribly painful to where I was a crying heap on the floor, and my lovely husband picked me up and carried me to where I needed to go. With my second pregnancy I had placenta previa, AND pre-eclampsia. I also had a terrible time with heartburn and palpitations. I ended up having to be induced a full month early because my bp was through the roof. (baby's ok btw, he's ten months now and walking)
Now I'm dealing with the old fatigue and numbness in my fingers and hands. I feel like a sticker is stuck to the bottom of my foot, and left hand. My left leg is tired and twitchy. In fact, I have twitches all over my body. Sometimes it feels like I can barely lift my arm in order to drive. My lips go numb some days, and the blindness in my left eye has a new companion; just this last month, the left side of my face also goes numb, and that will last all day.
I have had tinnitus as long as I can remember, only now it is intrusive. I can hear it over conversations now.
I sound like a moron, mixing up words in my sentences (I'll say something like, "Let's medicine put on you", instead of "Let's put medicine on you,") saying the wrong word (today I called a real estate agent a "house person,") stuttering like a Stanley, or just saying, "....uhhhhh".
Typing is also poor on some days. I'll do things like add letters, (not typos) spelling "c" words with "k", (I'm a grammar Nazi, so this is particularly frustrating!)
When I finally saw a neuro, he tested my reflexes and he said they were a "bit brisk". (I wish I had saw him a few days earlier, my whole right leg would jump up and down...now I realize it was clonus, but I didn't think it was significant then, and like an idiot, failed to mention this to the Dr.)
I know among other things, he's considering an MS as a possibility. (he also ordered a lupus test, but I don't feel like it's lupus)
One of my questions is it seems that EVERY DAY I feel a bit different. Is that consistent with MS? Some days are better, some are worse. I thought that MS takes longer to deviate. Some symptoms last only minutes, some a day, some for weeks, months, years...
For those of you who have MS, my condolences, and does this seem like MS, or something else to you?
(EDIT: I forgot to mention that sometimes I can't pee...but luckily I have weak pelvic floor muscles anyway and I was able to urinate after pushing it out like a bm. TMI?)