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I'm sorry that things seem so bleak to you at the moment. Sounds like your intro to MS has been hard and maybe getting harder.
I've thought of one thing you might want to check out--in another thread you asked about web sites with scholarships for people with MS. I really don't know of any but you might want to consider contacting Montanta Vocational Rehabilitation Programs to inquire about assistance with continuing your education. All state programs are different but some do support college education in certain circumstances. It might be worth a call.
And, if you're going into debt because you're paying for one of the CRABs it's my understanding most of the drug companies have programs for people with financial need so that might be worth a call too.
Of course, if you're not interested in or on one of the "CRABs", there seems to be lots of anecdotal information about LDN and it's my understanding it's fairly reasonable ($30-$50 mo or so). The LDN thread has lots more info if you haven't checked it out yet.
There are lots of other things to explore to try to manage the MS as well and lots of info here about them. Exercise can be a real plus -- but above all--don't give up.
Those were the three most important words someone told me early on.
I am sorry you are feeling so badly now. My suggestion is to stay on this site, read as much as you can, and ask ANY questions you may have. Once you learn more things may not appear to be so bleak. Plus you may learn about other therapies,etc that you may want to try. Right now things are going down hill for you and seem to be out of your control. So once you take some control back, even a little at a time, you will start to see some light.
Don't worry right now about everything. It doesn't help and overwhelms you. Choose one or two things to learn about and then once you are comfortable with those you can add one or two more again. Then you will feel more in charge of your situation and what you plan to do about it.
We are all here to help in whatever way we can. Just get started!
It is bloody awful the situation you find yourself in at such a young age. I don't know if I can offer any practical suggestions as SA is different to the States...I am not a professional and what I say here is just suggestions to look into - I have no idea if any of it is the right thing for you to do, so please don't rely on anything I say here! I am just throwing out ideas, maybe someone else in the States can offer better suggestions - the one from Sharon about the CRABS seems like a good one, as does the Montana Vocational Programme, the LDN treatment,and Lori's suggestions about taking things slow so as not to be overwhelmed.
Where I live, if you have no assets, and no income, you would see a lawyer and probably declare bankruptacy (know it sounds extreme, but someone I know just went through it). The banks (your creditors) would have no option but to write off your loans - you have no assets to attach, and no income to re-pay the loans.
There would be a problem with your Dad's assets if he signed surety for your student loans - he would then be liable for your debts, so you don't want to go there if that is the case, otherwise he would be fine as you are an adult, so he is not responsible for you legally - did the bank that gave you the loan not require you to have some form of disability insurance in case you could not re-pay the loan?
There are some legal implications if this route is possible for you - you can't get credit again until you are 'rehabilitated', nor can you be a company director - takes 5 years here for you to become a rehabilitated insolvent. Your medical bills would also have to be written off as there is no possibility of them being re-paid. But that is here - I am sure the States has it's own legalities and that they are somwhat different to ours! It may be worthwhile investigating how it works in Montana.
I can't believe that a country like the USA hasn't got some sort of programme for you to receive your medication - is there not some sort of Government healthcare? It is important that you get what your doc feels that you should be getting, and there are a few medical treatments out there, plus symptomatic treatment, and alternative therapies.
Then lastly, if you can get medical treatment sorted out, you can then spend time informing yourself about ms, and find a way to earn an income, get an education (there are usually discounted fees/subsidies for disabled people - here any way), and get on with your life - you do still have one, you just can't see it right now. Depression does that, as does the shock of ms, and the truly difficult circumstances you are now in. But, this too shall pass.
Please don't despair, I realize it seems impossible now, but there must be help out there, whether it is gaining assistance in going back to school and one day being employed, or just getting proper medical care.
Joined: Mar 26, 2005 Posts: 595 Location: Northamptonshire, England.
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:52 am Post subject:
Hello AHuxley,
The last year has been absolutely awful for you and I am so sorry to hear it. Anybody would feel depressed in your situation and the emotional pain shows through in your letter: you feel guilty about relying on your father; you have lost interest in things you used to enjoy; you have lost sight of who you are as a person; you lost your job; you seem to feel unmotivated, and on top of all that you lost your mother, are in debt, can't afford the medication you need, and are having to deal with the emotional impact of being diagnosed with MS.
Please, please have a look to see if there are any voluntary groups in your area: an MS Society would be a good place to start because they might have advice on the social security system which, if it's anything like the one in the UK, is a nightmare to try and navigate on your own so you could be entitled to something you may have missed. There might also be people there who you can talk things over with: perhaps even a professional counsellor.
You didn't mention your doctor, but he or she must be made to understand your situation and give you the help you need, if not, perhaps someone local with MS might be able to point you in the direction of one who can.
Do you feel you have a supportive network around you? Life has dealt you some bitter blows and the only way through it is with the help of others – that's what we're here for, and although everyone's situation is unique, you'll find plenty of people here who understand what you're going through and will always try and help.
As Jack said: you're not alone – we might only be connected by a few strands of copper wire and fibre optic, but connected we are, _________________ Dom
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