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Joined: Aug 12, 2004 Posts: 5 Location: Connecticut
Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2004 6:25 pm Post subject: Depressed and Looking for someone to talk to
Hi everyone, for those of you who don't know me I'm Jenni. I'm 14 years old and was diagnosed about two months ago. I'm not feeling very well today and I'm just kinda looking for seomeone to talk to. If you're interested let me know. Thanks. _________________ ~>*>Jenni<*<~
Joined: Jul 28, 2004 Posts: 128 Location: Michigan, USA
Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:24 am Post subject: Needing a friend
Dear Jenni,
I too am relatively-newly-diagnosed. My name is Steve and I was diagnosed in March-April this year. I'm 41 years old and still go through that"why me". I can't even imagine being 14 and diagnosed with this. Look at it this way I'm 41 and yes, too young to deal with something like this. I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. They need me, I can't let something like this take that away. I don't know what shape your in physically, I haven't even researched treatments and prognosis for someone your age. But you know what Jenni....there is so much research going on all the time! My wife has told me if God were to give you a choice as to what disease you'd get. This is probably near the top of the list. There are many other nasty things we could get that less is known about and they don't even have treatments for. Just think if you got some nasty kind of Leukemia or an inoperable brain tumor. Our outlook is much better. I can't help but think "why do I have anything" . Well we just have to accept it I guess. At 41 years old I look at it like this ..........well I could die of a heart attack, a stroke, get in a bad car accident or something else that cuts my life short. Yes, I too am young, in my eyes, I just have more experience being young than you .
Please keep in touch with the people here, their wolds will help more than your "normal friends" because we can all relate to the feelings one has with MS better than someone without. They just can't "know how you feel".
And there is a thought I cling to also, " MS doesn't kill people" I'm taking Betaseron to buy me time until something even more effective comes along.
Joined: Jan 15, 2004 Posts: 88 Location: New Jersey, USA
Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:50 am Post subject:
Dear Jenni,
Steve wrote a very heart felt message and I have to agree. The people here are very helpful and you can learn a lot from them. This web site has been my lifeline in this new world I have been plunged into.
My family has been very supportive but do not understand all of the things I have been going through. I am 38 with a family and feel like you and Steve. I am too young! At 14 you will also learn who your real friends are. They will be the ones that stick by you. I have 14 year old twin boys and can imagine how hard this is for you. I know how hard it is for them having to experience it through me.
Try to think positive and be optimistic. Life isn't over, its just taken a turn onto a new path. Granted, its not a path we would have chosen for ourselves but one we must accept none the less. The best we can do is learn as much about MS as we can and do what we must to make it manageable. Please send me a personal message if you want to talk. I wish you lots of luck. _________________ Karen (OneEyeBlind)
I wouldn't dream of pretending I understand what you are going through as we all deal very differently with crisis and shocks in our life and finding out you have MS certainly falls in to these categories. I know my head was spinning with all the 'what ifs' when I was first diagnosed and its hard to know where to turn.
There is a process we all go through when diagnosed, you may have read or heard about it. It's often described as being like greiving and in many ways this is true in that when you lose someone you love you go through stages of anger, shock, resignation and hopefully finally peace and acceptance.
Same with MS, but it doesn't mean it follows a nice linear order. You may feel angry one day and fine the next, bounce through the next 5 months then without any notice you down again and depressed. Whatever you do do not feel guilty for feeling sad or upset. It is a natural reaction and just remember it will pass and sunnier days will come again. They always do.
MS may mean for most people that their dreams have to be a bit different to what was first imagined but whatever you do don' t ever give up on dreaming.
Use the MS to give you focus on what you want to do with your life but try not to dwell on it and look at the positive statistics - your young age means you are more likely to have a better prognosis and there are so many breakthroughs with MS that I am confident they will develope treatments within the next 10 years that will make MS extremely treatable. And wow, look you will still only be 24. I hate you
Love,
Felly
PS It may be worth looking at learning some cognitive behavioral skills. I I trained as a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist a couple of years ago and it has help a HUGE amount. I would have loved to have known about it at your age. It will help not just in construtive ways to deal with MS but in many many areas of your life. Have a look at these links for details
http://www.academyofct.org/Info/Guide.asp?szparent=136&SessionID=gimqmogus
I was diagnosed with MS two months ago too - it looks like you and I are starting out on this MS thing together. (Difference is that you're 14 and I'm 50.) My emotions have been all over the place these last eight weeks but at bottom I guess I scared.
Finding out as much as I can about the condition has made things a little less frightening. You've found a really good web site here. The contributors are friendly and caring - and smart! And all that really helps, it has helped me. You'll contribute a great deal here as well I'm sure.
I met a lady today at our MS clinic who I've known for nearly twenty years, she has had MS for nearly thirty (she has three sons at university or med school). Her advice to me when she realised why I was there too was: "Every day make the most of that day!" I think I'll try to do just that.
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