Psychiatric Hotline

NHE · Volunteer Moderator Joined: Nov 21, 2004 Posts: 760

I found this on usenet and thought it was good enough to pass along...

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Hello. This is the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you're clinically depressed, press 1 despairingly, but it won't help.
Nothing will.

If your manic, press 2 while jumping up and down and shouting.

If you're bipolar, press 1 and 2 or 2 and 1, depending on which side of
the cycle you're on.

If you're obsessive-compulsive, press 3 repeatedly, but only an even
number of times with each hand.

If you're schizophrenic, press whichever number the voices tell you to
press.

If you're paranoid, don't bother pressing any number: We know who you
are and are coming to get you in black helicopters.

woolfy · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:52 am Post subject:

Funny, but that last one is a bit harsh.

gwa · Family Elder Joined: Dec 02, 2005 Posts: 847

This is how I feel every time I have to call a number and get one of the robots. Minus the helicopter coming after me, however.

gwa

MrsGeorge · Family Elder Joined: Dec 11, 2007 Posts: 238

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you Very Happy