for now, we can listen and share our thoughts at a minimum. personally however i am much more oriented to the pursuit of optimal health.
there may be someone here who can chime in, having had experience dealing with thoughts of self harm. if you have not already done so, i think you'd be wisest to seek the help of a mental health professional.
because you mention chronic pain, i wonder if working on that specific piece could help at all. may i ask you how your health care professionals are currently helping you deal with that aspect of your illness?
pursue optimal self care at least as actively as a diagnosis
ask for referrals to preventive health care specialists eg dietitians
don't let suboptimal self care muddy any underlying diagnostic picture!
I am also sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. What you have said is well thought out and you have obviously considered this for a while.
The question is, would you consider this if you were pain free? It may help if you can tell us what you do to manage pain or what help you get at this stage. There are many things to consider but, hopefully, you have come here looking for a different approach than you have tried so far.
Nearly everyone who visits these pages is dissatisfied with the traditional medical support that has been thrust at them. The more you can tell us the easier it will be for others to see similarities and share how they dealt with it. I think you owe it to yourself to be sure you have explored all options before you consider such a final course.
Please do share your story.
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Another option you might consider is hospice. In that case they just manage your pain with morphine. The object is to manage the pain, not to kill you. But I think the high doses morphine will eventually kill you. You could ask your doctor about it.
Also if you have religious concerns about committing suicide, hospice might be a good solution, since you are not actively trying to end your life. You're just trying to control the pain.
Good luck to you my friend. You're facing the thing which many of us fear the most. I wish you well whatever you decide.
Check out the story of Dax Cowart, an attorney who works on ethical issues after suffering from severe burns and wanting to die. He begged for death and attempted suicide twice after his rehabilitation. He later married, had children, and became a world famous legal ethicist
Think about what is important to you. What are you passionate about? What gives you a sense of meaning?-family, friends, societal issues, productive work, et cetera.
Read the book "man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl
He talks about how he found meaning while suffering the horrors of the halocaust.
There are many treatments for MS related pain including alternative treatment, neuropathic pain medications, and even narcotics as a last resort.
You never know what advances will be developed in the future which could help you to improve your condition.
msinsacramento wrote:I live in California assisted suicide is legal if you have less than 6 months left to live. That does not apply to us that have ms in lots of pain. I know I will end of a vegetable. This is all to much to live with. I heard this person shot them self in the chest and lived now in much worst shape now. I don't want to attempt suicide. I always think about suicide always on my mind. I am not a teenager that broke up with there girlfriend. I am a 43 year old man with a real illness with no cure, getting worse in lots of pain. I am an adult. Why can't I have the same rights a someone that has less than 6 months left to live. They put people to death on death row why can't I die in peace. I don't want to (attempt) suicide and fail and end up in worse shape. Anyone else feel the same way I do.
Think of a wise old joyful person. They may be plagued by various pains and limitations but their focus shifts to conversation, to thought, to their souls.
We are not as unique as it would appear. Everyone's bodies fail them. Ours are doing it faster.
While I accept that my body will fail me - I am not resigned. Doctors Swank, Wahls, and Jelinek all have compelling research (especially Dr Swank) that show that it is possible for us to live full lives.
Our bodies are likened to the womb. We are imprisoned within them - but we need to allow our lives to run their course so that we can develop spiritual qualities that we will need in the realms to come. Our death is analogous to birth. While (many of us) leave the security of what we know with trepidation - we enter the new world with out the constraints of our bodies.
But just as a premature birth can leave a child ill prepared for this earthly life, a premature death can leave your spirit ill prepared for the realm to come.
I encourage you to hang in there. Life can be dark but there are moments of light.
MS totally sucks and, by golly, I'm with you...I will not get to the level of disability Annette Funicello reached. I'm fiercely independent by nature and going to that place would be a fate far worse than death for me. BUT
I'm not there yet. I've got obligations to fulfill. I can't spend my time dwelling on the possibly dreary future. So, I know when that time comes I'll find my way to the next plane of existence and I don't worry about it.
I do pretty darn well overall but I go through down cycles with low energy and nerve pain, not relapses. *Every single time* I've hit a bad spot, I've stumbled upon some vitamin/mineral that makes me feel good again. Sometimes it takes longer and I get bummed thinking I'm in permanent decline...its flippin' depressing!! But when I manage to find the magic elixir after all that time, it's so much better because of the suffering. Can you tell I just worked my way out of a slump (with the stupidest thing! Arg!)?
There is something to help you with your pain and other ms demons. Be it meds, supplements, tens device, meditation, or singing Annie tunes in a speedo with a jelly donut Madonna bra. Talk to us about your symptoms and things you've tried. TIMS has hundreds of years of MS experience. Most doctors pretty much suck at managing it. We, the patients, have had to figure out things on our own and we've had loads of successes (and failures). We're happy to share with each other.
So, start a new thread. Tell us about your ms crap and what you've tried. Lets see if we can't work together to get you back on the upswing.
PS Trump sucks more than MS ~
I was about to agree with you until I saw your last statement. This isn't the place for political comments. We are allies in our fight against MS, but maybe not in our political views. Please don't divide us over something that has nothing to do the central purpose of this website.
Your friend (I hope)