When do you bring it up?

A forum dedicated to the younger people living with MS reflecting their unique concerns.
Post Reply
Getting to Know You...
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:48 pm

When do you bring it up?

Post by PS19 » Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:54 am

Since being diagnosed with ms a lot of things have changed for me. my habits, exercise, diet, everything.

There's only one thing that hasn't changed at all.

I like girls. Iv'e always liked them, always will. Im 21 so im trying to meet and talk to as many women as i can.

So when do i tell them about my little problem? I think im good looking, cool and funny. I have no problem meeting girls, getting there numbers, etc. But i feel like as soon as i tell them about my ms, they get scared and just wanna be friends.

I dont really care, if a girl doesn't accept me how i am then there's no reason to be with her.

When is the right time, respectful time. Should it be somthing i tell them from the begining? Or should i keep quiet about it?

Girls are so confusing :-x

Getting to Know You...
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:49 pm

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by Yash » Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:59 pm

I understand what you are thinking. Don't confuse yourself in this gender thing !! You gota live your life, your time, no hatred for others, let others remain happy the way they want, because it is you who gota survive with your life your symptoms, other strangers will only only show sympathy with you.
I don't share any thing even with my closest friend, i simply dislike sympathy. Even i'am 21 yr old, male. I'am ok with the way i've adjuted my life. I don't indulge in some deep talks because they will come to know about this prob. one day. So, all good friendship is ok. Manier times i've purposely stepped back, to be simple a boundary/within limit range is set by me. Only an ms'er can understand an ms'er.

Expect for the worst & Least might happen !!
-All these years living with MS has actually made me forget how well i earlier was !! I'am not 100% nor 99% thats what i always feel, but just moving on.
Dec 14, 2011

User avatar
Family Elder
Posts: 3367
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:00 pm
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by CureOrBust » Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:02 am

OK, I am older than 21 :oops: and I like girls too, as far as I remember my days at 21 and dating. Unless you have decided that "she" is the one, then I personally don't think you are necessarily oblidged to tell every girl. Think of it turned around, if the girl you were taking to the movies knew she was infertile, would you expect her to bring up that fact over pop-corn? I mean, it could be an important fact, LATER in the relationship.

User avatar
Family Elder
Posts: 444
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:00 pm
Location: colorado

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by ikulo » Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:48 pm

Well I'm nearing the end of my 20s here, but have been diagnosed for around 3 years and have dated a lot since the diagnosis. Haven't had any serious relationships, just because haven't wanted to deal with having that conversation -- so I just never told any of the girls I dated. Ah well, at least now it won't be me with the commitment issues. :)

User avatar
Family Member
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 2:00 pm

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by mattalleng » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:32 am

Most people would say (though I am not talking from experience for several reasons) that you go on a few dates, get to know each other well and then IF it seems like things are clicking you bring it up but CASUALLY, "you know I just thought I should tell you, I do have a slight autoimmune issues, MS," and just don't make it out to be the end of the world, I would almost just try to move on from it as if it was nothing and only talk about it more if she ASKS about more you know otherwise you are pushing it on her and THAT alone might freak her out but if she REALLY has a thing for you she will WANT to know more but only tell her as much as she ASKS for because any more than that might be overwhelming.

By the way, I am 21 as well and I run an MS group on Facebook, it's private and full of people from all over the world of all different ages and genders, several other us youngsters (haha) I even have a girl as young as 15 in there! You might want to join, cool conversations and helpful, loving, advice when you need it.

If your interested you can go to mattsms.com and click on my picture on the right side column on the top, add me on facebook, and Ill add you to the group. Take care!
http://www.mattsms.com<br />

Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:40 am

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by trashcanman » Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:03 am

While I am quite a bit older than 21, I was 21 years old when I was diagnosed with MS. I dated my share of girls prior to meeting my wife, and to be honest my diagnosis didn't come up with most of the girls I dated. You'll know when the time is right. As a relationship progresses and things get more serious, you'll want to tell her. So, don't stress on it and have fun with your life. Not just girls, but everything.

Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:28 pm

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by sandra89 » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:10 pm

I met a woman that has been hiding it for the past 10 years,her husband has no idea..only her mom knows.When she has a relapse she comes up with something,it has worked

Family Elder
Posts: 504
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:51 am

Re: When do you bring it up?

Post by centenarian100 » Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:39 pm

sandra89 wrote:I met a woman that has been hiding it for the past 10 years,her husband has no idea..only her mom knows.When she has a relapse she comes up with something,it has worked
That's pretty crazy for her not to tell her husband, but I suppose she's not obligated to tell him.

To the opening poster: you should probably wait to tell girls about MS until you're starting an exclusive romantic relationship with them. Just my opinion

Post Reply