This reply may be coming in kind of late, but I just saw your question and would like to respond. What helps me more than anything is relaxing, stopping the world from spinning crazily out of control, breathing and focusing on whatever helps my mind get there. I am not able to function the way I used to, my body will not cooperate. But the mind is a powerful thing and it can produce sensations that are at least acceptable and at best mind blowing. Your wife may be in pain in that area, or she may be embarrassed to discuss the changes. As for your part, a good massage can help. Rub her back, her legs, her feet. Also, not to be graphic, but there are all kinds of toys that can stimulate things even if they inititally seem "dead" to her. Lastly, it requires a total mind, heart, body and soul commitment a lot of adoration, understanding, patience and willingness to create a very intimate bond, not just a physical act. Most men are visual and physical whereas women are thoughtful and sensual. It isn't a matter of cheesy romance, but the combination of deep, deep feelings, emotions, and the demonstration of almost an animalistic pursuit. She's got to feel pretty. She's got to feel desired. She is probably feeling frumpy and broken, and you do have the power to make her feel like a sex goddess. Do that! Don't treat her like a pity case. Treat her like she's the hottest thing you've ever laid eyes on and you'd turn down Heidi Klum just for the chance at one night with your wife. Try that and I wish you the best! For anyone else reading this, guys if your wife is diagnosed with MS and you want your sex life to thrive, you've got to make her feel like she is still hot, sexy, 100% capable and able to turn you into a gasping heap of mush. Treat her like she's that good, and like you cannot believe your luck that she's chosen you. I know it's a stretch for the average male ego, but if you love her and want good sex, you'll find a way to do this. If that doesn't get her at least interested in giving it a go, there's a good chance she's checked out and given into depression, in which case she could probably use some good counseling and a support group. Hope all goes well for all couples struggling with MS and diminished libido!