anyone like me?
Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 10:02 am
It has been almost two decades. Drugs, no drugs and drugs again. Therapy, therapy and more therapy. Drop foot and though FES gave me hope at one time is helping just a bit. Still better than nothing. Left side of body weak. Hand strength weak. Hands always cold. Fingerless gloves everywhere. Can't cut food and find it hard to do simple tasks. Awful getting to bathroom especially at night. Left leg gets so stiff. Barely no stability. Want to sit doing everything. But such trepidation getting up from chair and toilet. Hardly can do anything independently. WAY overdue for dentist, optometrist, gynecologist, physical. Have to be wheeled in my mobility chair to anything. Missed the cell phone revolution because of the weakness in my hands. Friends disappeared when the job ends, semester ends. It is my fault too. I didn't reach out. Too embarrassed of my physical state. Alone and lonely. Husband great but how much can he take? I feel I have exhausted all my options. So weak. Hard to get in bed and out. Hard to get around house. Rollator has become a moving junk drawer. Taking a shower is a big to do. Getting dressed is a big to do. Everything is a big to do. Feel I have nothing to say because I spend so much time trying to find anything to improve the quality of my life. So hopeless. Spent small fortune on exercise equipment. My exercise stuff marvels any physical therapy place. Husband built supported treadmill and parralle bars. Just want to know if anyone feels like they've tried everything and to no avail? How do I fill my day when I can't get around and have such weak hands? Retorical question. Hard to figure out if I'm hot/cold. A/C or heat on or off. Can't fiddle because difficult to stand to turn it on or off. Open a window? But I have to stand to open. Clutch everything to get from here to there. So hard to put hair in ponytail. So hard to get food from fridge and in microwave. Hand is so cold typing this. Keep adapting things and adapting and stuff is still difficult to do. So mentally tired.