new! call centers and hiccups! don't miss it!

[1eye]

To all those millions of Call Center employees out there trying to call me right now:

You could get a bonus!

You could go to the head of your class!

You could end up running this very Call Center, whether in Bangalor, Toucson, or Washington. D.C. or state!


Here is the ear-worm to suggest hypnotically, unconsciously to everyone at your Call Center:

Suggest a Button. A Button you press. A Button which apparently, does nothing. But a Button which in reality, does everything. Call it the Not Today Button. When the Button appears, as it will, instruct your fellow employees only to press it in the worst of circumstances. Only press it when:

1. The Callee mysteriously hangs up before you even are apprised that they have picked up the call.
2. The Callee less mysteriously hangs up as soon as they have heard your accent.
3. The Callee hears that you are at a Call Center, and then hangs up.
4. The Callee pleads with you and offers their first-born child, not to call them again. Even if it's only just for one day. And then hangs up.

After the employee presses it, the magic will happen. This Callee does not want to talk to a Call Center, and will never want to talk to a Call Center again, at least not today. The Button will record the phone number that the employee called, and will make sure that it will not be called again, by any Call Center employee, for at least 24 hours. They may, if they wish, press the Never Button, but it is very permanent. The Callee may really, in their Heart of Hearts, want to give you money. Just not today.

Now your fellow employees may present you with all the money, power and accolades that you deserve!

Your Call Center has just saved a Great Whack of Time. And Money. Now it can more effectively Serve the Client!




I have had hiccups for 3 weeks, and haven't eaten for much of that time. This is a lot of fun, but if anyone can tell me a way to prevent this, let me know, by PM or not.

[DougL]

i would say the best way to prevent this is to not pick up the phone in the first place

[1eye]

i would say the best way to prevent this is to not pick up the phone in the first place

Mainly, I don't. Especially not since hiccup season started. But it makes a huge racket either way. Today they called about 10 times in a row. I can't wait till suppertime.

[ThisIsMA]

Hi 1eye,

I can imagine that having constant hiccups has got to be really disruptive and painful. I hope they've stopped by now, but if not, here's a Mayo Clinic article on it, that says the vagus nerve can be implicated in hiccups. And that persistent hiccups can happen as a symptom of MS. I wonder if going in for that MS angioplasty treatment that pushes on the vagus nerve could help? That would be an expensive treatment though unfortunately.

Here's the link to the Mayo Clinic article:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... n-20031471

Also I wonder about trying acupuncture since branches from the vagus nerve extend into the ear and acupuncture can use treatment points in the ear. That mayo clinic link I sent you (on the page about alternative medicine) says:

When long-term hiccups don't respond to other remedies, alternative treatments, such as hypnosis and acupuncture, may be helpful.

The one thing I do for myself if I start hiccuping that works for me is to stare intently at a point in the distance (like across the room somewhere), with the intention of maintaining my focus on that point without letting my mind wander, and at the same time take a really deep breath and hold it till I have to exhale, and then do the whole thing again, a few times till the hiccups stop. I don't know why that works for me but it does.

Hey, I just went to the page on "Treatments" for hiccups within that Mayo Clinic website link I sent you, and they say:

Surgical and other procedures

If less invasive treatments aren't effective, your doctor may recommend an injection of an anesthetic to block your phrenic nerve to stop hiccups.

Another option is to surgically implant a battery-operated device to deliver mild electrical stimulation to your vagus nerve. This procedure is most commonly used to treat epilepsy, but it has also helped control persistent hiccups.

If you qualify for that implanted vagus nerve stimulator, let us know if it causes any improvements in the rest of your MS symptoms. There is a recent fascinating article in the New York Times about how researchers think that electrically stimulating the vagus nerve may help treat autoimmune diseases. Its not approved for that purpose yet, but I think I read that vagus nerve stimulators are approved in the USA for depression and for epilepsy. Here's a link to the New York Times article called Can the Nervous System be Hacked:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/25/magaz ... .html?_r=0

[1eye]

I ended up with one very strong stomach muscle, one one side only.

Chlorpromazine worked, first as an infusion, when I had come from emerg., in the hospital, then as tablets, in smaller doses, prescribed by, of all people, my family doctor. The neurologist was not necessary. If only this treatment were more common knowledge. The drug acts to paralyze your vagus nerve (temporarily), and your hiccup system is allowed to reset, similar to what it does if you can hold your breath long enough, suppressing hiccups for that long.

The difference is, the drug works for long enough that whatever is stimulating the vagus gets a chance to settle down.

The call centre keeps calling, and I keep hanging up. I keep telling them "I don't want my ducks cleaned. I don't even have any ducks. If I did, I would clean and eat them myself, thank you very much." And hanging up. I think I will try saying "One moment please while I find the person you want..." And then quietly putting the phone down until they hang up,

[jimmylegs]

http://pdiconnect.com/content/28/6/667.full.pdf
"Hiccups are involuntary, rhythmic, spasmodic contractions of the diaphragm. ... Case study ... hiccups became frequent and severe enough to produce insomnia, anorexia, and weight loss. ... Laboratory investigations were as follows: .... magnesium 0.66 mmol/L ... "

[1eye]

Sorry: I must not have been paying attention - are you saying the concentration of magnesium was unusually low in this patient, and that it might have helped the hiccups? I guess I don't qualify for intractable, since mine only lasted 3 weeks. But I did feel in danger of becoming seriously, clinically, permanently insane. Try getting up in the morning knowing you have been hiccuping all night in your sleep. Try it for 20 nights.

I still do not have a single duck.

[jimmylegs]

no worries yep that is what i strongly suspect. interestingly, i used to get hiccups but can't remember the last time it happened. just doesn't any more. hmm i am pretty sure 3 weeks would qualify as intractable compared to a typical episode, even though they thankfully went away on their own in your case! remind me if you have ever tested your serum mag, if you monitor your dietary intake, if you supplement at all?

[Moragh]

Hi 1eye:
I used to get the hiccups (not as bad as you) but it was uncomfortable. It just stopped. Now days if ever I get a rare hiccup its only one. However, my issue now is sneezing. For no reason I just start and cant stop. The most sneezes in a row are 27. When I start the entire house starts to count. I do not have allergies. Possibly evil spirits trying to get out..... Wonder if hiccups & sneezing in some way are related to vagus nerve.

As for your call centre conundrum ..... What works well for me - if I feel inclined to answer the phone (cause sometimes I don't). When I pick up the phone I say (Its done..... but there,s blood everywhere....) and then just hang up. Sometimes they call back, probably with their colleagues listening, I just don't answer. And the police have never shown up at my door to see what is going on...

[jimmylegs]

hi moragh you could possibly do a little experiment with magnesium to see if increasing your levels calms the sneezing down

[Cece]

I guess I don't qualify for intractable, since mine only lasted 3 weeks. But I did feel in danger of becoming seriously, clinically, permanently insane. Try getting up in the morning knowing you have been hiccuping all night in your sleep. Try it for 20 nights.

It's like when my husband tested for sleep apnea and they found that he stopped breathing 89 times every hour. Yeah, you can "sleep" through that but you can't sleep through that.
Glad to hear the hiccups ended. Hope they stay ended. There are enough indignities in life without hiccups too!