Suicide

[msinsacramento]

I live in California assisted suicide is legal if you have less than 6 months left to live. That does not apply to us that have ms in lots of pain. I know I will end up a vegetable. This is all to much to live with. I heard this person shot them self in the chest and lived, now in much worst shape. I don't want to attempt suicide. I always think about suicide always on my mind. I am not a teenager that broke up with there girlfriend. I am a 43 year old man with a real illness with no cure, getting worse in lots of pain. I am an adult. Why can't I have the same rights a someone that has less than 6 months left to live. They put people to death on death row why can't I die in peace. I don't want to (attempt) suicide and fail and end up in worse shape. Anyone else feel the same way I do. Smoking pot is now legal in California. My health care provider most likely pays over 100K a year for my medication. No wonder why our health care cost so much. I am really getting my money worth. Congress should make suicide legal health care cost would go down. Why spend 100K a year on someone that would prefer to take a suicide pill. I put my dog to sleep because he was ill but they can't do that for me. My dog just went to sleep in peace but I have to live a long and horrible life. Congress if you are reading this the suicide pill will save a ton of money on heath care.

[jimmylegs]

sorry to hear you are in dire straits i wanted to respond but am not personally able to commiserate. i can only relate in the sense that i have had times when was afraid my symptoms were imminently life threatening. then with help from others i was able to figure out some things i was doing incorrectly, while trying to help myself. from there i managed to improve. now i don't continually feel like i need to keep my affairs in order :S
for now, we can listen and share our thoughts at a minimum. personally however i am much more oriented to the pursuit of optimal health.
there may be someone here who can chime in, having had experience dealing with thoughts of self harm. if you have not already done so, i think you'd be wisest to seek the help of a mental health professional.
because you mention chronic pain, i wonder if working on that specific piece could help at all. may i ask you how your health care professionals are currently helping you deal with that aspect of your illness?

[Scott1]

Hi,

I am also sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. What you have said is well thought out and you have obviously considered this for a while.

The question is, would you consider this if you were pain free? It may help if you can tell us what you do to manage pain or what help you get at this stage. There are many things to consider but, hopefully, you have come here looking for a different approach than you have tried so far.
Nearly everyone who visits these pages is dissatisfied with the traditional medical support that has been thrust at them. The more you can tell us the easier it will be for others to see similarities and share how they dealt with it. I think you owe it to yourself to be sure you have explored all options before you consider such a final course.

Please do share your story.

Regards,

[oreo]

I can only echo the sentiments of the other respondents. You clearly seem to be in need of real help; first for your physical symptoms and secondly for your mental symptoms. Suicide is an end but it is not a solution. We are all affected by the actions of one. We need you. We all need each other. Please do not deprive us of your presence.

[ElliotB]

You need professional assistance at this time. I hope you will immediately call the 24-hour Crisis Line in California for help:

1-800-309-2131

You are among friends here at TIMS.

[David1949]

I agree with you that people should be able to make the decision to end their own life without interference from government. Its outrageous that a bunch of busybody government bureaucrats want to control not only your life but also your death. In my opinion government's only role should be to assure that it's suicide and not homicide.

Another option you might consider is hospice. In that case they just manage your pain with morphine. The object is to manage the pain, not to kill you. But I think the high doses morphine will eventually kill you. You could ask your doctor about it.

Also if you have religious concerns about committing suicide, hospice might be a good solution, since you are not actively trying to end your life. You're just trying to control the pain.

Good luck to you my friend. You're facing the thing which many of us fear the most. I wish you well whatever you decide.

[msinsacramento]

Thank you all for your feed back. You all are so nice thank you. I don't want any mental help. But thank you.

[centenarian100]

I'm sorry to hear you are having so much pain, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not give up. There are people who experience great suffering and go on to live fulfilling lives. As others have said, you need professional help. Do not try to go it alone.

Check out the story of Dax Cowart, an attorney who works on ethical issues after suffering from severe burns and wanting to die. He begged for death and attempted suicide twice after his rehabilitation. He later married, had children, and became a world famous legal ethicist

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dax_Cowart

Think about what is important to you. What are you passionate about? What gives you a sense of meaning?-family, friends, societal issues, productive work, et cetera.

Read the book "man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl

https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Mean ... 080701429X

He talks about how he found meaning while suffering the horrors of the halocaust.

There are many treatments for MS related pain including alternative treatment, neuropathic pain medications, and even narcotics as a last resort.

You never know what advances will be developed in the future which could help you to improve your condition.

-Cent

I live in California assisted suicide is legal if you have less than 6 months left to live. That does not apply to us that have ms in lots of pain. I know I will end of a vegetable. This is all to much to live with. I heard this person shot them self in the chest and lived now in much worst shape now. I don't want to attempt suicide. I always think about suicide always on my mind. I am not a teenager that broke up with there girlfriend. I am a 43 year old man with a real illness with no cure, getting worse in lots of pain. I am an adult. Why can't I have the same rights a someone that has less than 6 months left to live. They put people to death on death row why can't I die in peace. I don't want to (attempt) suicide and fail and end up in worse shape. Anyone else feel the same way I do.

[Jimpsull]

I am also a 43 year old man with MS. I was diagnosed in 2003 and it does suck. It isn't a long slide into hell though. As we lose function we shift focus into other areas of our lives.

Think of a wise old joyful person. They may be plagued by various pains and limitations but their focus shifts to conversation, to thought, to their souls.

We are not as unique as it would appear. Everyone's bodies fail them. Ours are doing it faster.

While I accept that my body will fail me - I am not resigned. Doctors Swank, Wahls, and Jelinek all have compelling research (especially Dr Swank) that show that it is possible for us to live full lives.

Our bodies are likened to the womb. We are imprisoned within them - but we need to allow our lives to run their course so that we can develop spiritual qualities that we will need in the realms to come. Our death is analogous to birth. While (many of us) leave the security of what we know with trepidation - we enter the new world with out the constraints of our bodies.

But just as a premature birth can leave a child ill prepared for this earthly life, a premature death can leave your spirit ill prepared for the realm to come.

I encourage you to hang in there. Life can be dark but there are moments of light.

[Gypsylady01]

I understand and can empathize completely with what you are feeling. When you have always been independent, intelligent, able to care for your family. It is devistating to then be independent on others to get places, help you get dressed, get out of the tub, fix meals for you family, take care of your children, and all the other things that we take for granted before. Plus deal with the constant total body pain, and constant body jerking, and not being able to sleep. People judge because they have not lived it. I make myself keep going because my family need me, illness and all. I have an autistic child and I know it would be more devistating for me to end it than for him to have to learn to do more around the house because momma can't do it anymore. But knowing when you can't take anymore can only be made for the person themselves, only they can know when that time comes. I know people think this thinking it wrong, but becareful about judging until you have walked in that persons shoes!

[centenarian100]

well said Jimpsull and Gypsylady01

[robbie]

think about it every day tried once 6 months ago pills and booze but I woke up 3 days in the hospital. you really don't know unless your there

[msinsacramento]

I am so sad all the time. I have no desire to do anything. My body is deteriorating. I just need the balls to do something about it. I am so afraid of ending up a vegetable. Its all I can think about is how awful it got for Annette Funicello. It is reasons like that we should all have the right to die even when it is not terminal. The MS is a slow and terrible way of life. I realize some people have MS and it is not so bad while others it is just to much to bear. I wish Trump would do something for people like myself have the right to die assisted suicide. A way to die peacefully just go to sleep and not wake up. Please President Trump please do something for people like us. I am an adult and I should be able to make that decision even if this is not terminal why must we live in such misery long and slow hell.

[Anonymoose]

Hi Msinsacramento,

MS totally sucks and, by golly, I'm with you...I will not get to the level of disability Annette Funicello reached. I'm fiercely independent by nature and going to that place would be a fate far worse than death for me. BUT

I'm not there yet. I've got obligations to fulfill. I can't spend my time dwelling on the possibly dreary future. So, I know when that time comes I'll find my way to the next plane of existence and I don't worry about it.

I do pretty darn well overall but I go through down cycles with low energy and nerve pain, not relapses. *Every single time* I've hit a bad spot, I've stumbled upon some vitamin/mineral that makes me feel good again. Sometimes it takes longer and I get bummed thinking I'm in permanent decline...its flippin' depressing!! But when I manage to find the magic elixir after all that time, it's so much better because of the suffering. Can you tell I just worked my way out of a slump (with the stupidest thing! Arg!)?

There is something to help you with your pain and other ms demons. Be it meds, supplements, tens device, meditation, or singing Annie tunes in a speedo with a jelly donut Madonna bra. Talk to us about your symptoms and things you've tried. TIMS has hundreds of years of MS experience. Most doctors pretty much suck at managing it. We, the patients, have had to figure out things on our own and we've had loads of successes (and failures). We're happy to share with each other.

So, start a new thread. Tell us about your ms crap and what you've tried. Lets see if we can't work together to get you back on the upswing.

'Moose

PS Trump sucks more than MS ~

[David1949]

Moose
I was about to agree with you until I saw your last statement. This isn't the place for political comments. We are allies in our fight against MS, but maybe not in our political views. Please don't divide us over something that has nothing to do the central purpose of this website.

Your friend (I hope)
David